It had seemed to her that life was a lottery and when Bryancame into her life she’d felt, for a moment at least, as if maybe it was her turn and she was holding a winning ticket. She’d been in love for the first time, and that feeling of connection after years of loneliness had been more precious than anything.
When he’d let her down as badly as her father had she’d decided that although there were plenty of things in life over which you had no control, there were things you could control. For the sake of her daughter she was determined to focus on what she could control. And part of that was relying only on herself. No more hoping that a man might live up to her expectations. She was going to live up to her own expectations.
It was a long time ago and yet some of the memories were uncomfortably clear.
She stood up and opened the doors that led onto a balcony. Flowers spilled and tumbled from pots and a small table with two chairs was strategically positioned to take advantage of the spectacular sea view.
When Bryan’s wife had left her the hotel she’d been given a chance, and she’d taken it.
She might have been content with this one hotel, but her hard work and creativity had caught the eye of an investor. He’d seen her potential, and from there the business had taken off.
She’d made choices, difficult choices, and she hadn’t allowed herself to question them until recently when her past had slipped into her present, forcing her to confront things she’d avoided.
Given that her entire life had been ripped open in the past few hours, there was one more thing she had to do.
Turning away from the balcony, she took a shower and dressed in a cool linen shift dress. She took time over her hair and make-up before heading back down to the village as late afternoon turned to evening.
The narrow streets were busy. Families were returning froma day at the beach, parents loaded down with damp towels and picnic rugs. Tired children with sandy feet clutched fishing nets and buckets.
The smell of the sea hovered in the air, that tangy salt scent that she’d breathed daily and only now realised she missed.
It was crowded, but she knew where she was going. Even after all these years her sense of direction didn’t falter.
She turned off the crowded main street and onto a narrow lane which was home to a row of whitewashed fisherman’s cottages. They were well tended, the doors painted in soft pastel shades. Colourful plants spilled out of pots and tubs that lined the cobbled street.
A few tourists were sneaking photos, apparently indifferent to the privacy of the people who lived there.
Alexandra turned away from them, wondering at people’s obsession with seeing the world through a camera lens. She preferred to store images in her head, where she could access them anytime she wanted to.
Like now, for example. She had clear memories of standing outside this same door.
She hadn’t planned to do this, but now it felt like the right thing to do. And if it turned out to be a mistake, then she’d live with it.
That’s what she told herself as she knocked on the door and waited, her heart hammering against her chest. She felt nervous, and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt nervous about anything.
The door opened and he stood there, familiar and yet unfamiliar.
She hadn’t had time to focus on him properly when she’d seen him earlier, but she focused on him now. His hair was still dark, although now there were faint hints of silver. His eyeswere the same washed green that had always made her think of the ocean. Outwardly he didn’t seem to have changed much, but she knew he had. They both had.
“Ms Strong.”
“Really?” She tilted her head, raised an eyebrow and saw him smile.
“Alex.” He opened the door wider. “Come in.”
She hesitated. She was always sure of herself, but not right at this moment. Not with this man. “I probably should have called. I wasn’t sure you’d want me here.” And that was why she hadn’t called, of course. She’d wanted to see him, and she’d been afraid he might refuse to see her if she’d given him the option.
“I was hoping you’d come.”
Her heart lifted and she followed him inside. The house was exactly as she remembered it, only back then it had been crammed with baby paraphernalia. Her place had been the same and she’d been relieved to be able to pass some of Abby’s things on to him for Evie.
Sounds of the sea wafted through the open windows, along with a welcome cool breeze.
“Have you eaten?”
“No, but I’m not hungry. It has been a long day.”
“You always went off food when you were stressed, and after today you must be stressed. You need to eat. You always get shaky if you don’t eat.” He walked to the kitchen and she followed him.
