I push the image from my mind, walking a little faster.
That meant nothing. The man hates me.
And he’s not to be associated with this anyway. This life of mine outside the dungeon.
He’s fresh and untarnished, healthy and island grown.
And this… This is putrid and low.
This is what a man’s brought to when every shred of his soul is chipped away…
No.
It’s survival. Survival and nothing more.
They can’t touch my soul.
My sandals crunch on the gravel. My hand falls on the brass door handle.
It stills.
Survival. Nothing more.
One deep breath, and I push it down, then step quietly into the house, leaving my guards to join the others standing on either side of the front door.
I slip off my sandals and plaster a wide smile across my face, trying to force it into my eyes. I raise my head and my shoulders, put one foot in front of the other, walk down the dark hall, around the corner toward the lounge—
“Shhhhhh!”
A hand slams down over my mouth. I stumble backwards, hitting the wall as Maria pursues me, her face moving close to mine in shadow.
“He’s just drifted off,” she whispers, barely audible. Her large and frightened eyes move frantically toward the living room, then she releases me at a snail’s pace. The sharp tilt of her head is a command, so I follow her into the kitchen.
The first thing I lay eyes on is a carafe of wine on the central bench, then a paper packet ripped open beside it, spilling white powder across the oak surface.
Three seconds home and already my life is on the line.
Scrambling to snatch it up, I whisper a fierce, “What were you thinking? You’ll get caught!”
“I was in a hurry!” She splashes the wine down the sink, rinsing the carafe out, while I force what little powder I can back into the packet. “He had one whole carafe while he was waiting. I had an entire teaspoon worth in there! I couldn’t believe he drank all of it. He just kept talking, asking when you’d be back. I was preparing him some more just now, when he stumbled, fell onto the coffee table.”
“Oh shit. Is he okay?”
“No harm done to him or the furniture. But when he fell, I had to run out of here and leave it. You know I would never be so stupid as to let anyone see.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” I seal the little envelope with a fold, then shove it deep down inside a jar of flour. Turning back, I take a moment to look at her properly. Her long black hair is slipping from the tight knot she usually keeps it in. The kohl around her eyes has smudged, making the dark circles beneath them more pronounced than usual. All signs she’s had a shit evening in my absence. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” She taps the clean carafe down on the table with sharp finality, prim and proper, her professionalism a shield for all the trauma her twenty years in this place has stuck inside her. “It’s not me he’s after.”
“It makes little difference to a predator whether a mouse or a lizard crosses its path. It will happily devour either of them.” Her eyes flare in a quick show of defiance at my reprimand. It only makes me feel ten times guiltier. My elbows hit the bench, face falling into my hands, and I dig my palms into my eyes, as if I could squeeze out every memory of my life here. “I shouldn’t have left you with him. I didn’t think he’d wait for me. Or that you’d have to deal with it.”
She comes around behind me, always so light on her feet. The firm circles she runs over my aching back soothe the tight muscles. “Don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself. You see?” She shrugs toward the living room where the sleeping Emperor awaits.
Yes, she can take care of herself, better than most men and women in this city. And she takes care of me too. But she does it within the construct of my protection. And that only exists so long as the Emperor deigns it. The second he tires of me, I lose the villa and Maria—the housekeeper who comes with it. There will be no helping either of us if that happens.
I drop my hand onto hers when it comes to rest on my shoulder. “Please don’t risk yourself like that for me again. If he’d discovered you…”
“Marco, you’re so tired. I couldn’t stand the thought of it tonight.”
