The guilt is stifling, clawing at my throat with sharp, deep talons. “I’m so proud of you, Dad.” They’re the only words that can make their way out around the lump in my throat. Mymouth’s dry, but my cheeks are soaked with tears. “You’ve come so far.”
If I’d told Dad I hated Tate on principle, because of him and everything his injury represented to me in my life, it would break him. So I stay quiet.
“I have. And I’m glad you stuck around long enough to see me come out the other side.”
There’s a pang in my heart at the barbed comment about Mom, but I don’t rise to it. We’re having a nice moment, and I don’t need to ruin it. Right now, in this moment, I have my dad back, and it feels pretty fucking nice.
“Don’t let my problems with his dad impact whatever you want to happen between the two of you, Sweetheart. If we’ve learned anything from my accident it’s that life is far too short and can change in the blink of an eye.” He brushes the tears streaming down my face and pulls me into his chest in an enormous, all-encompassing hug.
“You like that boy, don’t you, Pumpkin?”
My skin burns hot. He can’t see my face so it could be easier to lie to him, but is it worth it? He’s just bared his soul to me, it would do us both a disservice to put up a wall in this space so I nod against his shoulder.
“I didn’t want to.” My mumble into the fabric of his janitor’s uniform makes him chuckle.
“That’s just the way it goes sometimes, kiddo.” He squeezes me tighter.
“I w-wanted to h-hate him for you.”
Another squeeze as the admissions tumble from my lips on heavy sobs.
“I can fight my own battles. In fact, as your parent, it’s my job to help you fight yours. But don’t pick battles you don’t need to suit-up for. You don’t need to hold a grudge against a boy for theimagined sins I came up with for his father because I didn’t want to own my own decisions and actions.”
I’m crying in earnest on his shoulder now, and he just holds me for a long minute, letting me get it out.
“I love you so much, Penelope.” His voice breaks with emotion. “And I promise I’m going to do everything in my power to get our relationship back on track. It might never be what it was, but I will do all I can to make amends with you and your brother, kiddo.”
Making amends.
It’s one of the steps of his recovery. And until here and now it’s always felt kind of forced, or a little artificial. I guess that’s why I didn’t embrace it with both hands. I’m not sure what the future looks like, but I think it might be a little better than before.
“Thank you, Dad.”
As he nods, the scruff covering his jaw brushes against the side of my face, and I’m a little girl all over again.
“Thanks for sticking with me.” He kisses the side of my head, and I want this moment to last forever.
Someone clears their throat to my left, without looking I can tell it’s a man.
“Mike.”
I freeze in Dad’s arms. It’s Mr. Myers. My head snaps up, searching Dad’s face for any trace of anger or resentment, only to come up empty.
“Zachary.” Dad steps back from me, extending his hand to Tate’s dad. “How are you? My Penelope was just telling me that your boy is in with a broken jaw.” Dad’s mouth pulls into a thin line. “We’ve seen how bad that can be. He doing okay?”
Mr.-Zachary-Tate’s-dad-Myers—I’m not sure what to call him because I’ve been thinking of him as Mr. Myers to hold thatboundary, but right now everything feels like it’s been turned on its head.
“It's early yet, but I think so.” Zachary nods. “Didn’t put his eye out, or break his cheekbone, or give him brain damage, so I’m thankful for small mercies.” He chuckles. “He’s mostly pissed he can’t play for three months.”
Dad smiles. “Sounds familiar.”
Zachary’s face turns serious. “Can we talk? Not right now.” He gestures at Dad’s uniform. “But some evening, or over lunch?”
I’m not sure what I’m watching unfold right now, but maybe Tate’s Dad wants to make some kind of amends of his own.
“I’d like that.” Dad’s still surprising me. I don’tfullytrust it yet, but I’m definitely closer to giving him a chance in the future. He said he was healing, doing growth and self-work, but hearing him say he wants to sit down with the man he’s blamed for destroying his life is as surprising to me as the fact that I just cried in front of Tate’s mom.
Wonders never cease.
