“I love you, Edie. I’m concerned about you, I care about you, and if roles were reversed you’d be as in my face as I am in yours.” His breath tickles me as he talks.
My heart thrashes wildly in my chest. The intensity drilling into me from his stare freaks me out, and I stupidly cast my gaze to his lips.
As first kisses go, the one on the couch was pretty memorable. Has he considered repeating it? A sneak peek at his eyes tells me all I need to know. He’s thinking about it right this very moment, and every reason I’ve had in my head not to let him has suddenly dissipated. How convenient.
The urge to lick my lips is strong, but if I lick my lips, I might lick him, too. And I’m not sure that’s the signal I want to send.
I don’t know when I started crying, but he’s brushing tears away with his thumb. Between delicate kisses pressed to my forehead, he mumbles to me in Spanish about how I’m not alone, how strong I am, how I’m going to get through this.
I’m powerless.
No strength in all the world is potent enough to resist a beautiful Latino man caressing your brokenness and whispering about how everything’s going to be okay.
He doesn’t instigate, he doesn’t even pressure me, but the draw to his lips is unyielding. I need to kiss him, for both our sakes.
“I stink.”
He nods, his nose brushing against mine. “You do.”
My chest heaves, weighty with each intake of air.
“No me importa.”His voice is strained, like he’s fighting his urges, and I’m glad it’s not only me feeling this... whatever it is.
It’s clearly not important to him since he’s right... there. Can I get past my fear of losing him enough to actually be with him?
Do I need to decide that right now?
Need thrums through my body. The closer he is, the quieter the doubts get. Heady, demanding, consuming desperation claws at my body as his thumb strokes my face.
“Apollo.” More tears trickle down my cheeks.
Fighting on all fronts is exhausting. Would it be so bad to give into it? Aching for comfort, closeness, guilt tugs in my chest. I don’t want to use him, but he’s offered to give me whatever I need. In a moment of weakness, I’m tempted.
I’m losing my mind. Since the accident I’m either yelling or crying, sometimes both simultaneously. I can’t figure out how to balance my anger, fear, and pain, and a huge piece of me is afraid that one more snide comment, or one more dismissal, will be the straw that breaks the hockey player’s back.
Except none of that matters right here, right now. Nothing matters but how he’s looking at me, eyes filled with guarded adoration, patience, and understanding.
“I’m scared.”
He nods again.“Lo se, princesa. Lo se.”
“You’re not?”
“No tengo miedo.”
I guess I’m afraid enough for the two of us. “What if it all falls apart?”
“¿Y si no es así?”
He’s right, what if it doesn’t?
Fuck it.
CHAPTER13
Apollo
The moment she decides to kiss me her breathing shifts, her shoulders relax, and a smile ghosts her lips. I’ve wanted to kiss her again every single second of every day since our first time on the couch and our second time in the bathroom. My body may explode with relief as she closes the final few millimeters between our mouths and presses her lips to mine.
