Yes.
I shoved Maddox away with more force than necessary.“Don’t do something we’ll both regret.”
His brows furrowed.“You’d regret it?”
“Youwould.”
Maddox shook his head in disbelief, as ifhehadn’t been the one to pretend our first kiss didn’t happen.For once, he didn’t argue back.He merely frowned, his brows pinched and his jaw clenched.
“We should leave early,” I said, unable to look at him.“I don’t know what Prilla Lewis plans to do with Edmund.We need to get him somewhere safe.”
“Of course,” Maddox said flatly.“Edmund de Clare always comes first.”
Before I could wonder at his tone, he was already walking away.“I’m going back down to the square,” he said without turning.
I braced my hand against the trunk of the First Oak, shaking and exhausted, watching Maddox disappear behind the incline.I wanted nothing more than to bury myself in bed and never emerge.
But the flatbread.Ma said I had to bring the flatbread.
I went to the door numbly.Just when I reached for the knob, it swung open, and Christabella stood at the threshold, her shawl wrapped tight around her shoulders.
“Where’s Maddox?”she asked.
“He went back to the square,” I said.Christabella made a move to exit, but I blocked her path.“Don’t follow him, Chrissy.”
She crossed her arms, her shoulders stiff.“Why?Is it because I don’t know what’s good for me?”
My face heated.Had she overheard everything?“Think of Alexander.You’re engaged.You shouldn’t be clinging to anyone else, even if you two are fighting.”
Christabella scoffed.“You know Gigi, just because you’re back doesn’t mean you get to tell me what to do.”
“I’m just looking out for you.”
“Are you?Really?”She marched back into the parlor, her skirts flaring out behind her.“Because I seem to remember youabandoningme nine months ago.”
I followed her in.“Chrissy...I didn’t mean to abandon you.I just needed to leave Ma.”
Christabella whirled around and scrunched her nose, a tell-tale sign she was holding back tears.“You’re so wrapped up in your dislike for Ma you never think about anyone else!I was so angry with you,” she said in a wavering voice.“All you left was that stupid letter.You didn’t breathe a word to me before you were gone.It was soselfish.”
My face and eyes burned.There was that descriptor Ma loved to throw at me, but I’d never thought I’d hear it from my sister.She might as well have slapped me across the face.“I thought you of all people would understand why I did it.You know how I felt in this house, Chrissy!”
“I know!I was there!”
“Then why are you calling me selfish?”I cried, unable to keep my tears from falling.I wiped them away angrily.“I did what I had to.I left because I had to.This place was suffocating me.You like it here.You have it easy—”
“Just because I’m Ma’s favorite doesn’t mean I have it easy!”Christabella screamed.“She expects so much from me, from all of us.But you were the only one who had the guts to go against her.I didn’t.Idon’t.”
I stared at her, stunned.“Chrissy, I said you could come aboveground to visit me.”
Christabella shook her head vehemently.She was crying now too, despite her efforts otherwise.“The world has always been too big for me, Gigi.I’m scared of everything.I’m scared of what Ma would say if I tried to leave.I don’t have your courage.The only thing I had was you!And you justleft.”
I blinked away my tears, but they kept coming.“I-I didn’t know...”
“Forget it!”She turned and ran upstairs to her room, her door slamming hard enough that I felt it in my bones.
My feet took me to the kitchen counter where a covered basket sat.I wrapped my fingers around the handle as I wiped my face and fought to control my breathing.
There was still flatbread to deliver.
