“Jeraldine.If your schedule allows...can you take the wedding dress assignment?”I asked quietly.
There was a beat of silence.“Now why would I do that?”
“You’re much more qualified than I am.A-and I’ve run out of ideas.I’ve started this dress so many times already.Ican’tstart again.”
Narcissa’s wedding dress was the biggest project of my life—nothing would compare to it.But I had no more sketches, no more inspiration.Lately, I hadn’t even had the urge to pick up a needle.
“I’m all booked up,” Jeraldine said with a shrug.
I deflated.
“Usually when I’m stuck, I look back on my oldest work.It takes me back to a time when I was full of ideas and excitement, even if the end products never turned out as I wished,” Jeraldine said with a kind smile.“Try it.Maybe it’ll help.”
***
WHEN I RETURNED TOthe boarding house in the late afternoon, I saw to my surprise that Maddox was standing at my door, a large covered basket in his hand.He was dressed surprisingly neatly today, though the sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to the elbows, exposing his toned forearms.
“Hello,” I said awkwardly.My heart beat a little faster, though I tried to ignore it.My gaze flicked down to his hand gripping the basket handle.A purplish red bruise had formed on his knuckles.
“Hello,” Maddox said with a smile.“Feeling better?”
“As well as I can, given the circumstances.”I went to unlock the door and entered the dimming room, slinging my satchel down on the bedside table.
A small meow sounded from the doorway.
I turned around.The covered basket in Maddox’s hand was squirming.“Have you brought—?”
Maddox drew away the cloth, revealing his three kittens I’d already forgotten the names of.“Emotional support,” he said.He set the basket down and the cats hopped out to explore the room.Then, he took out a dented paper box.“And pastries.”
I made a face.“I’m not eating cat butt pastries.”I collapsed to the floor, leaning my back against the bed frame.I was about to say that cats could hardly be counted as emotional support, until one of them climbed onto my lap and curled into a little gray ball, the small weight of her surprisingly comforting.
Maddox joined me on the floor, stuffing a cream-filled puff pastry into his mouth, setting the crushed box in the space between us.A caramel drizzled pastry looked particularly tempting.I succumbed and took a bite, the sweet and salty caramel syrup coating my tongue.I sighed in appreciation.
“Where did you go today?”Maddox mumbled through his mouthful of pastry.
I didn’t hesitate to tell him everything—from Edmund’s magazine to my visit with Jeraldine and the advice she gave me.
“Edmund de Clare.”He scoffed and shook his head.“I didn’t think that man could get worse.”He went for another pastry.“So, you’ve run out of ideas?”
“Do you think Narcissa would be mad at me if I quit?”
“Perhaps.There aren’t many people who can whip up a perfect royal wedding dress in four months,” Maddox said.“What Jeraldine said about looking at past work...are you going to try that?”
I heaved a heavy sigh.“Is there a point?”
“I thought you wanted this.More than anything.”
I looked to the floor, surprised by the tears brimming in my eyes.It seemed that I was always on the verge of tears around him lately.“I did.But...I don’t know anymore.I used to think that if I just worked hard enough, all my dreams would come true.”
As a child, I’d always felt like I had something to prove, burning with ideas and a desire to be more than I was told I could be.When I’d first come aboveground, I’d gotten so carried away with assignments and prestige that I’d forgotten why I started sewing in the first place.And now, my passion and curiosity for my craft were dwindling slowly with every passing day.
“Whatever you choose, I’m sure you’ll make the most of it.”
I could tell Maddox wanted to say more, but he held himself back.I was grateful for this.I didn’t want solutions right now, only a companion who would commiserate with me.Or, more ideally, distract me.
Maddox took my silence to mean just that.“So I might get kicked out of the Royal Guard if Edmund reports me,” he said.
I laughed.“We weren’t thinking last night, were we?If I’d known I wouldn’t have—”
