I blushed at the silence that followed. What a fool I was. What right did I have to want his care, especially when I injured myself due to my own selfishness? When I knew he would never choose me over the witches of Vandil?
Bennett finally spoke. “I thought you didn’t want to see me because it was my fault you got hurt.”
I stilled. “What?”
“Dragging you through the rain for an entire day was irresponsible,” Bennett continued. “You were exhausted and feverish. Then Lord Frederick came and I let you run off. I put you in danger when I should have protected you.” His eyes strayed to the scar on my neck. “Your mother’s letter...I shouldn’t have let you read it.”
He framed that night as if everything was his fault. But it wasmine. Wasn’t it?
“T-The letter was addressed to me. Of course I had to read it,” I said, hardly knowing what else to say.
“You don’t have to associate with that woman anymore, Narcissa,” he said.
I parted my lips, taken off guard. What was he saying? That he wanted to protect me from Mother?
My heart soared on its own accord, but I reeled it back. Perhaps when I was a child I deserved to be protected, but I had long since passed the age of making my own choices. The things Mother made me do, I did them willingly. I did them because I craved her approval. Now I had to face the consequences.
Bennett ventured closer. “Did she ever hurt you?”
I gripped the armrests. Speaking to him about Mother was the last thing I wanted, especially after what she had done to the queen. It was the ugliest part of our past, the root of everything bad between us.
And he wouldn’t understand. How could I explain the raps on my wrist, the cold stares, or the sharp words any more than the affectionate embraces and pretty gifts? The days Mother was happy with me I cherished for too long. The days she was not, I could not forget even if I tried.
“She loved me,” I said instead, as if those words encompassed all. In a way, they did. I tucked my hands under my elbows. “In her own way. But...not anymore.”
Or perhaps she still did. Her elation through the letter was evident. It wasn’t difficult to imagine her back beside me, praising my progress and kissing my hair.
“Narcissa.”
“I told you I am fine.” I sounded like a stubborn child, but I didn’t care. I shouldn’t have dragged him inside to talk. I was more confused than I had been before. And he still seemed intent on firing my guards. “Don’t you have duties to see to?”
Bennett grabbed my hands, his expression earnest and confused at once. It was the look he had given me all of yesterday.
I sucked in a breath. “What are you—”
My annoyance snuffed out, along with all thoughts of Mother and guards, when he jerked forward and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. The gesture was achingly tender. I tipped my head back in surprise.
I recognized the feeling. He had done the same when I was unconscious. While he was...heavens. Hehadtended to me.
It was fortunate I was sitting, otherwise I would have melted into a puddle beneath his warm eyes. They widened, as if he had surprised himself. My gaze fell to his lips.
Bennett pulled away abruptly, stumbling over a ridge in the carpet. “Apologies. I—excuse me.”
I flushed as he gave an uncharacteristically awkward bow. He fled to the door, but before he could make his escape, Ulysses appeared.
“Your Highness! Am I interrupting?” the steward asked.
“I was about to mail my reports,” Bennett said quickly.
“I see.” Ulysses cleared his throat and glanced between us. “A letter came from His Majesty, and...well. Read for yourself.”
Ulysses held out a cream envelope. Bennett took it and scanned the contents. The embarrassment on his face gave way to something more serious. A beat later, he stuffed the letter into his coat pocket.
“So Father disapproves of the hearings in Vandil,” Bennett stated. “All the more reason to mail my reports.”
Ulysses sputtered. “Wait. Your Highness. There’s something else you should know—”
The steward barely took a breath before Bennett left. Ulysses looked from me to the hallway until finally scrambling after the crown prince, coat flying.
