I pressed a hand against the icy glass, warming at the sight of his hazel eyes. “Bennett,” I said softly.
To my alarm, he climbed onto his desk, scattering his papers. I was beginning to question his sanity until some hidden mechanism clicked and the window swung open like a door. He jumped to the grass.
I hardly had time to comment before Bennett pulled me into his arms in a tight embrace. I collided into him, my face buried into his neck. His scent lingered there. Cedar and spices. I hugged him back, wondering how I managed the last month without him.
“Cissa! I-I never dreamed I would see you again so soon,” Bennett said when he pulled away. His eyes were wet. “I meant to write to you but—heavens you must’ve thought I...”
Bennett’s voice broke off, and he fell into a rapt silence. His stare seemed to finish what his words couldn’t.
I was afraid I would cry if he didn’t stop. “H-have you been well?” I managed.
The question seemed to bring him out of his spell. Bennett ran a hand through his hair, tendrils falling over his forehead. He seemed suddenly aware of his appearance.
“I’m well,” he said, fastening the undone buttons of his waistcoat. Liar. “And you? How are you here? Does Father know?”
“Of course. He invited me,” I said. “I was waiting for you at the banquet.”
Bennett paused at the last button. “Father invited you?”
“He came to visit last week to make amends, in fact.” I took a step closer, concerned when he made no reply. “Are you alright?”
“Father went to you to make amends,” Bennett repeated.
“You didn’t know?”
“We are not on speaking terms,” Bennett said stiffly.
“That makes reforming laws difficult, no?”
He didn’t smile. “I’ll never forget the day I had to leave you. You were unwell and I...I didn’t even get to say goodbye.”
“His Majesty just wanted the best for the kingdom,” I said, lowering my gaze, “but he also wants you to be happy.”
Bennett made a noise that sounded very much like a scoff.
I held back a smile. “He made amends on your behalf. That’s more than I could say for my mother. Everything she did was for her own sake.” My voice grew quiet. “Perhaps she even had a daughter for her own sake.”
Mother never loved me wholly and unselfishly, that I knew now. My feelings were never a concern to her. The thought hurt more than it should have, but I recalled Father’s love and Lady Vanessa’s gentle support. I found my voice again.
“His Majesty’s actions were hurtful, yes, but his intentions were not misguided.”
Bennett furrowed his brow. “He—”
“You can’t deny you were changed in my presence,” I said. “Youdidrisk offending several noble personages on my account.”
“Because I was madly in love with you.”
That made me blush. His words mirrored the title of Sister Scarlett’s article on us last month. I hoped he didn’t think I was serious about having five children.
“You do not have the luxury of being mad.”
After a moment’s pause, Bennett reached for my hands. For once, my fingers were warmer than his. “Abandoning you was the first real sacrifice I made as crown prince. Forget the birthday parties, the celebrations. Those I could live without. But you...I left when you were suffering.”
“Bennett—”
“I know you lost your magic. I should have defied Father and stayed. I should have been more like you.”
I furrowed my brows. “Like me?”
