I started. “I-I can find my way. Shouldn’t you retire early too? Since tomorrow...”
He shook his head. “I’ll be fine.”
Of course he would be.
I trailed behind Bennett as he strode down the velvet carpet that spanned the length of the throne room, our footsteps echoing in the cavernous space. When we approached the door, he held it open for me.
I hesitated at the threshold.
For nearly a month, Bennett and I had parted ways here. He turned left to his study and I turned right to my suite. His goodnights consisted of a squeeze on the hand or a short bow. He was all princely politeness these days, but tonight, I found myself craving more. Perhaps a kiss, or an inquiry about how I was feeling. Any scrap of the affection he had shown me during the end of our winter tour.
I touched Bennett’s wrist. “Wait.”
He glanced down. “What is it?”
My mouth went dry. I couldn’t think of anything to say that wasn’t related to ambassadors or the upcoming ball. Perhaps the weather? Olderean seagulls?
Bennett looked at me expectantly.
I couldn’t bear to let him go. Without thinking, I rose to my toes and leaned in for a kiss. Just as our lips met, he stepped away.
I nearly stumbled into the door frame.
Bennett steadied me. “Apologies, Cissa. Not right now.”
I stared at him, waiting for him to laugh or say he was only teasing.
He didn’t.
“Oh,” I said. The sound was achingly pathetic to my ears. I looked to the floor, realizing that I had dropped his notes.
Bennett retrieved them and handed them to me. My hand closed around the papers mechanically.
“I’ll see you in the morning.” He gave me a tight smile before he disappeared into his study.
2
Itouched my mouth, too mortified to replay the moment.
An unbidden memory resurfaced. Mother had drawn away from my hugs the spring I turned eleven—when I was no longer a little girl to indulge, but a young woman ready for molding.
That was the moment she stopped loving me.
I didn’t know how long I stood there until footsteps echoed down the hall behind me.
