I blinked a few times, trying to keep my tears at bay. I didn’t want to care this much. I hated how I rested my value on what my mother thought. I wanted to be free of this pain that I’d been carrying around for too long.
“So this was your plan?” my mother said. “Asking for a chance to audition so that you could sneak my daughter in front of the judges?”
Her words cut me to the core and I couldn’t help but look up.
I expected to see the Ice Queen that I’d become accustomed to. I expected to see her hands on her hips and her gaze trained on me as she stared me down. I expected to see anger and resentmentfor going behind her back.
But I didn’t see any of that.
Instead, her eyebrows were furrowed and her expression was soft as she ran her gaze over me. Her arms were folded across her chest as if she were trying to protect herself from something. Some truth that she couldn’t quite face.
“You weren’t going to let her,” Ethan said. “And I’m sorry, Ms. Boucher, but your daughter was born to dance.” I could hear the protective hint to Ethan’s voice as his arm tightened around my shoulders.
Her gaze met mine and she looked…lost. “I thought you agreed that dancing wasn’t in your future. You didn’t fit in with the other girls. You don’t have the right body type. I thought you didn’t want to continue because you weren’t cut out for it and…” She trailed off with a loud exhale. “You would have been hurt.”
I knew what my mother was saying sounded mean, but she was confused. And hurting.
“I wanted to spare you from rejection,” she said. I’d never once heard her sound so weak. So vulnerable. For the first time I saw her actions from her point of view—from the perspective of a woman who’d spent a lifetime being judged herself. Maybe shehadbeen trying to protect me, in her own way. Maybe she’d never realized that her rejection was worse than anything I could face from my peers.
“I didn’t want to see you hurt,” she said quietly. “You’d experienced too much rejection already.”
I pushed forward and wrapped my arms around my mother because I knew what she meant. My father’s leaving us had been the worst kind of rejection. But he hadn’t just left me…he’d leftus. Tears streamed down my face as I held her. We’d never talked about Dad. We never shared emotions, but I was beginning to realize that it was the one thing we needed.
I needed my mom and my mom needed me.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered as I pulled back.
For the first time since Dad walked out, my mother, Amiee Boucher, was crying as well. She reached up and held my face in her hands as she studied me.
“Nonsense, I should be saying sorry. I crushed your dreams. I tried to protect you from a world that you were obviously born to be a part of.” She reached up and wiped my tears from my cheeks. “You were breathtaking. You were everything a dancer should be.” She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close again.
We held each other and cried. Everything we’d kept bottled up, all the words we’d never said to each other, were spoken in that hug.
“Can you forgive me?” she whispered.
I nodded. “Always.”
She pulled away and then focused her attention on Ethan. She extended her hand and shot him a smile. “I have you to thank for the gift you’ve given me. You had faith in my daughter when I had none.”
Ethan still looked confusedbut met my mom’s gesture and shook her hand. “Well, she’s incredible. Only a fool would keep her dancing in a studio by herself.”
“Ethan,” I said and shot him a look to which he just shrugged.
My mom held up her hand and shook her head. “Ethan’s right. You are no longer dancing alone in a dark studio. I don’t care what the Juilliard judges say, you will be dancing for the rest of your life.”
My entire body flooded with excitement as I stared at my mom. “Really?”
She nodded as she reached forward and kissed both cheeks. “If you’ll let me teach you, I would be honored to see where we can take your talent.”
I threw my arms around her one more time. Then I pulled back and straightened my clothes. I knew my mom. When it came to dancing, she was all business. There was no place for emotions.
“Yes,” I said. “I’d appreciate that.”
Mom shot me a look that reminded me of why she was called the ice queen. Then she adjusted her bun, dabbed at her eyes, and then nodded to the both of us. “I need to go back in and finish these auditions.” She walked by me but then paused as she glanced down. “We’ll talk at dinner tonight?”
I smiled. “Yep.”
She gave me a curt nod and then disappeared into the audition room.
