Olivia sighed. “Maybe you could start by trusting Ethan.”
I let out a shaky breath as her meaning hit home. It was so hard to let myself believe that he might mean what he said. It was so much easier to listen to that voice that said he was mistaken, or he was blind, or he would change his mind. But why?
Why couldn’t I choose to believe in Ethan rather than in that stupid voice that had been making me miserable for years?
Olivia squeezed my shoulders. “Be brave, Collette. Take a chance. Take the leap.” She scrunched up her nose. “Now I sound like those motivational posters.”
I laughed for the first time in a long time. And it felt amazing. As if I were releasing the pressure on the balloon that was my stress. So I laughed somemore until tears filled my eyes.
Olivia stared at me with her eyebrows raised. I could tell she was confused but I couldn’t stop so just waved my hand in her direction as I bent over and held my stomach.
She was right. On so many levels. And it was comical how wrong I’d been. How completely lame I’d been. I was the fool. I was the idiot who thought giving my life jacket to this school was the way to save it.
It wasn’t.
“I’m so sorry,” I said through the burst of laughter.
Olivia nodded but she still looked confused.
Thankfully, she stayed with me until I finished. I wiped my cheeks as my expression grew serious. “You’re right, Livi. I’m so sorry. I’ve been a lame friend.” I furrowed my brow. “Can you forgive me?”
She stared at me for a moment before she slowly began to nod. “I think I can manage that.”
I grabbed my shirt and pulled it on. It wasn’t soaking wet which was good enough for me. Then I threaded my arm through Olivia’s as we walked out of the bathroom. I swallowed as I tried to push down the fear that had crept up inside of me at the words I wanted to speak.
If I was going to be brave. If I was going to prove to Olivia and Ethan that I was the person they thought I was, then I needed to act.
I needed to put my money where my mouth was.
“So, do you think you can help me?” I asked suddenly, forcing the words out on an exhale.
Olivia glanced down at me. “With what?”
My whole body felt as if it were on fire, but I couldn’t back down now. I was strong. I was a dancer. I could do this.
“Help me with the audition?”
NINETEEN
ETHAN
She wasn’t coming.
I knew she wasn’t coming, but that didn’t stop me from craning my neck for a better view of the door.
She wasn’t there, and I was left the idiot who thought our love could conquer her fears. That somehow, my feelings for her were all she needed to find her confidence.
Someone slap me now and wake me from my horribly optimistic nightmare.
The academy had assigned one of the smaller studios as a waiting room for all those who were auditioning. Dancers filed in and out, their expressions tense and their eyes not meeting mine as they stretched and warmed up. The anticipation in this room was nerve wracking. I had to remind myself over and over again that this audition wasn’t that big of a deal for me. Juilliard wasn’t even my dream.
It was Collette’s.
I looked over to the door for the millionth time, trying to ignore the stab of bitter disappointment that flared up again. This audition couldn’t end soon enough.
Part of me wanted to go out into the hallway to look for Collette, but the hall was filled with family members and teachers who were slipping in and out of the auditorium to watch the auditions.
I glanced over at Bianca and tried to focus on watching her warmup routine. It was better than sitting here in the corner like a chump, tuning my guitar for the twentieth time.
