“Now listen here,” he started, his voice booming once more as he fought to find his footing through his usual anger. “I’ve only ever acted out of your best interests and?—”
“Here’s the thing, Dad,” I interrupted. Maybe it was the lack of emotions that made him stop talking, and that had my mother eyeing me with concern. “I’ve been a good son, I’ve always done as I’ve been told. But I’m not a little kid anymore. I’ll be going to college next year and it’s time for me to make my own choices.”
I saw him open his mouth but this wasn’t an argument and if I didn’t collapse soon I’d start to think about Collette. About how she’d walked away from me…
“I’m a good son, Dad. And honestly? I’m a pretty great guitar player.” I picked up the case and started up the stairs. “If you want to be a good father, you can find out for yourself.” I glanced back to see them both at the bottom of the stairs, staring up at me like I was a stranger.
“Come support me at an audition tomorrow,” I said. “If you really care about me and my future, then show up.Show me that you care about the future I’ve picked even if it’s not the sort of future you planned.”
I walked away before they managed to come up with a response.
For the second time tonight, I’d put myself out there and I wasn’t about to stick around to see if I’d get burnt again. My heart could only handle so much rejection in one night. And losing Collette?
That was as much heartache as I could take.
EIGHTEEN
COLLETTE
There was a pit in my stomach that I couldn’t get rid of. It felt like I’d swallowed a whole gallon of cement; it hardened inside of my body and wouldn’t let go.
I’d felt so free and weightless while dancing with Ethan, but now it was as if I were wearing weights on my ankles and a cage around my soul. I couldn’t shake this feeling that I’d lost some part of myself when I’d walked away from Ethan last night.
I wasn’t me when I wasn’t dancing and I wasn’t me when I wasn’t with Ethan.
It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours since I’d seen or talked to Ethan but it felt like an eternity had passed. And when I’d see him again? Well, that was anyone’s guess.
I overheard Mom talking to Coach Reynolds this morning as I got ready to leave. Apparently Ethan’s dad had complained for theumpteenth time so he was releasing Ethan from his punishment. When the mayor wanted something, people bent over backwards to give it to him.
I tried to feel grateful that I wouldn’t have to see Ethan anymore. Not seeing him meant I would get over him that much faster. I wouldn’t have to worry about him intruding in my life anymore.
I could finally collapse inside of myself like a dying star.
I shook off that sad thought. Not seeing him again was a step in the right direction. I’d move on. My life would go back to normal. I’d get over him…eventually.
But no amount of self-talk about why it was a good thing that Ethan was no longer part of my life seemed to help. Knowing that we were done just made the day drag on. Seconds felt like minutes and I wasn’t sure if I could continue living my life in slow motion like this. If this was my new normal, kill me now.
“Psst.”
I glanced over my shoulder to see Olivia offering me a soft smile. She mouthedAre you okay?And I just shrugged and turned back to my lab I was working on. Well, ‘working on’ was a stretch. I was doodling in the corner. I couldn’t concentrate to save my life.
But I tried my best to keep my head down, to focus on my meaningless scribbles so I wouldn’t have to pay attention to the dancers who’d been leaving class for their auditions.
Knowing the auditions were currently underway was a special form of torture. Wondering if Ethan was there—if he was really going to go through with it with or without me? That was killing me.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Olivia stand. I didn’t think too much of it until suddenly, ice cold water was dumped down my back.
I yelped and shimmied out of my seat. I glanced up to see Olivia’s surprised face. Her eyes were wide and her mouth shaped like anO.
“Oh my gosh, Collette, I’m so sorry,” Olivia said as she reached out to offer me assistance. I just glared at her. I loved my friend but being soaked and heartbroken had to be a new low for me.
Why stop digging at six feet when you could go to ten?
“What’s going on here?” Mr. Baker asked as he hurried from his desk over to where we were standing.
“She…I’m…” Heat permeated my cheeks as I glanced around and saw the entire class staring at us.
I just waved to my now soaked shirt and marched out of the classroom. After all, Olivia did this to me, she might as well explain herself.
