Abigail gasped before she paused. “I’m still not seeing the issue.”
I didn’t know how to explain it to her. And it was frustrating that she wasn’t leaving it alone. The last thing I wanted to do was marry Noah just to keep the board from booting me out. I wanted love. I wanted a marriage. I wanted to heal from losing Carson and move forward with the rest of my life. Faking something with Noah didn’t seem fair to me or him.
“I want a real marriage. One that lasts,” I finally managed, my voice barely a whisper. Noah didn’t want to marry me. I was a job to him, that was it. Sure, he was handsome and ridiculously muscular, but we weren’t destined to be together.
He deserved to find someone who loved him just liked I deserved the same.
“Oh,” Abigail said, and suddenly her arms were around me and pulling me into a hug. “I understand.” She pulled back and met my gaze. I could see her apology in her eyes. “You deserve to find your prince.”
Tears clung to my eyes once more. I knew what she was trying to say, but I couldn’t help but feel like I’d already found my Prince Charming, but he was gone now. I’d had my fairy tale. It was selfish to want another.
“Thanks,” I finally said. The last thing I wanted to do was cry in front of Abigail.
I hated crying in front of people, especially when it came to Carson. I knew people meant well when they pulled me into a hug and told me that I deserved all the happiness in the world. That Carson was needed in heaven more than he was needed here. They always had nice sentiments, but they did little to fill the gaping hole left in my heart from losing him.
It was best to keep my breakdowns to the privacy of my own room. Where I could say “this sucks” and no one would tell me why it didn’t.
Thankfully, Abigail didn’t push me further. She gave me one last squeeze and then turned her attention to the boys at the other end of the pool, who were in a very heated squirt-gun battle.
Abigail charged headfirst into the fire, using Bash as a shield as she tried to get Timothy, who was clinging to Noah’s back for protection. Timothy was squealing and, for the first time since I could remember, I saw Noah smile. I heard him laugh. It was deep and rumbly.
Was it wrong to say I liked it?
I blinked, forcing myself to the present. Damn Abigail and her words. Putting thoughts in my head that would have never gotten there on their own. Noah was my bodyguard. His time with Timothy and me was limited. As soon as I was married, I doubted he was going to stick around.
I needed to push all of those thoughts from my mind and focus on my son.
“Ha ha,” I said as I grabbed a squirt gun from the side of the pool and stuck it into the water so it would fill up. As soon as I lifted it out, I sent a steady stream right at Abigail.
“Take cover, Mommy!” Timothy shouted as Abigail turned her squirt gun in my direction.
“Ah!” I yelled as I quickly slipped under the water.
I floated there for a few seconds, waiting for Abigail to finish her attack before I resurfaced. Once I felt like it was safe, I popped back up only to be met with the sight of Noah’s broad back.
“Hurry, Mommy, get behind Noah.” Timothy’s face appeared in front of me. His gaze was desperate, and it matched the tone of his voice.
“Um, okay,” I said as I treaded water behind Noah.
“You stay with Noah, and I’ll go under the water and swim up behind them and do a sneak attack.” Timothy’s eyes were wide as he relayed the plan to me. Before I could respond, he was under the water and swimming away, leaving me very much alone with Noah.
I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do. Timothy wanted me to stay put, but we were floating in a pool and it was becoming increasingly hard to not touch Noah while also staying behind him. This was awkward, and I could feel that it was awkward for Noah as well.
“He insisted that I come save you.” Noah tipped his head to the side.
“Ah,” I said just as my hand brushed against Noah’s back. I felt his muscles tighten. “Sorry,” I whispered.
He chuckled. “It’s okay. We are in a pool.”
I laughed, praying he didn’t pick up on how anxious I was. “That’s true.”
Suddenly, Timothy burst out of the water right behind Abigail with a war cry. She screamed and flailed as he pelted her with water. I took that moment, while everyone was distracted, to move out from behind Noah so I had more room.
Bash and Abigail performed an Oscar-worthy death scene before they finally surrendered. When they resurrected, they each grabbed ahold of Timothy and smothered him with kisses. He screamed and pushed, trying to get away from them.
Abigail held onto Bash as they made their way over to Noah and me. Timothy took up the rear. I could tell he was purposely keeping his distance from them in case they decided on another sneak attack.
“What should we play next?” Timothy asked as his head bobbed up and down in the water. His expectant attention was on Noah, who looked around at the other adults for some assistance.
