I took off down the street, not caring that it was well past midnight. I was angry. I was hurt. But most of all, I was alone.
I was always alone.
I stuck to the shoreline as I drove. I didn’t know where I was going, I just knew I needed to get as far away from here as I could.
I finally stopped at an old, sun-bleached pier. I parked my bike in the sand-filled parking lot and got off. The desire for freedom rose up in my chest as I walked across the weathered wood to the edge. I pulled off my helmet and stared down at the water.
It was dark and murky. The reflection of the moon was the only light that shimmered across its glassy surface.
Lyrics and music started swirling around my mind as I pulled my phone from my pocket. After logging out of Fading Atlas’s social media accounts, my thumb lingered over my secret account. The account that no one knew about. The account where I felt free.
I pressed on the profile and typed in my password. I hit record just as the swarm of notifications began to ring on my phone. After selecting a filter that blacked out my face, I lifted my phone.
“Hello, lovelies,” I said, my voice low and rumbly. “I apologize that it’s been a while, but I’m hoping you’re still out there.” I started to hum the beginning measures of the song that had been rolling around in my mind. “This song is for all of you mending a broken heart.”
I sang like my life depended on it. The lyrics flowed from my lips like singing was the only thing in this world I was meant to do. Here, under this persona, I could be who I wanted to be. Under this persona, I was truly free.
After I finished, I paused, letting the last bits of the song linger in the air before I turned back to my phone. Then I closed my eyes and said the same outro I used every time I posted a new song.
“Much love, Drifter.”
1
SABRINA
I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, the newest Drifter song playing softly in the background. It had been exactly seven hours since Abigail confronted me about my coffee date with Liam. It had been exactly seven hours since I told her I was moving out. And it had been exactly six and a half hours since Liam had met me in the lobby of Harmony Island Inn, where a very curious Shelby checked me into a room.
I could tell she had a lot of questions, and I didn’t doubt that she would call Abigail to get some answers. But I was grateful that she was professional and treated me like a guest and not her best friend’s older sister.
Of course, Liam insisted that I stay in the room right next to him. I wanted to fight him on that, telling Shelby that it wasn’t necessary, but I didn’t. I was tired and emotionally drained. Even more so now that I’d spent the entire night tossing and turning in my bed. I was never going to forget the look of betrayal on Abigail’s face when I walked out of our apartment.
The last thing I wanted to do was to disappoint my sister. But maybe that was my problem. The line between us as siblings had blurred, and suddenly, I’d found myself living my life for my sister. It took months of therapy and acceptance for me to own my behavior over the last few years. It was time Abigail started owning hers.
I sighed and flipped on the faucet. The cold water pricked my skin as I splashed it on my face, hoping it would take care of the bags that were becoming permanent fixtures under my eyes. I inspected my skin as I patted it dry with the fluffy white hand towel. That didn’t seem to work. I still looked like I’d been ridden hard and hung up to dry.
I shook my head as I tucked the towel back onto the antique brass holder affixed to the wall before I flipped off the bathroom light. My appearance didn’t really matter. What mattered was the fact that I’d just blown up the only stable home Samuel and I had, and now I was in desperate need of a place to stay. Liam promised me freedom, but I wasn’t sure what that meant exactly.
I’d been impulsive last night, but now, in the stark light of day, I was beginning to regret the choices I’d made.
Maybe I needed to apologize. Maybe I needed to tell Abigail that I’d made a mistake. She’d forgive me. She had to. It was in the unwritten sister oath.
I just wish my stomach didn’t ache when I thought about returning to that small, cramped apartment. It was a strange juxtaposition against how light I felt when I allowed myself to entertain thoughts of freedom. It beckoned me like a siren’s song.
Thankfully, Samuel wasn’t stressed like I was. He was passed out in the bassinet that Shelby had dropped off for me last night. Just looking at him helped ease the mounting stress that was building up inside of my body.
In the chaos that was my life, Samuel was the one constant I could cling to. When I was with him, I was at peace. I just wished, someday, he could confidently say the same about me.
Three soft knocks had me straightening and turning toward the door. I glanced over at the clock.
6:25 am
I frowned, wondering who that could be. From the little I knew of Liam, I doubted he was an early riser.
Maybe it was Shelby. Maybe she was coming to tell me what time breakfast was. I stood and made my way to the door but paused to take stock of my reflection in the full-length mirror affixed to the wall next to the door. I was wearing my baggiest t-shirt as a nightgown, but for Shelby, that didn’t matter. When I got to the door, I peered through the peephole, just for good measure.
Dark curly hair greeted me.
I sighed. Not Shelby. Liam was standing in the hallway with his head dipped forward and his phone in his hand. My heart inexplicably took off running as I studied him.
