That was the best rehearsal Fading Atlas had had in a long time. There was something in the air. Magic had flowed between us. It was like, for a moment, we’d put aside all of our frustrations and just made music.
Maybe it was me. My attitude had definitely shifted after I left Sabrina with a sleeping Samuel in my dressing room. There was something about helping her that had me feeling…complete? I liked taking care of her. I liked protecting her. I liked…her.
And that was spilling over to my music.
“That was amazing,” Bonnie gushed as she walked out onto the stage.
I’d just replaced my microphone so I turned to face her. Guido and Sawyer were returning their guitars to their stands, and Jet was just standing up from his drums. They all had a giddy smile on their lips. A satisfaction that can only come from playing music.
“Wha—what happened?” Bonnie glanced around but her gaze inevitably landed on me. “You guys were just so…” She paused and tucked her clipboard into the crook of her arm so she could join her two hands together. “In sync,” she finally said.
“Maybe it’s Chicago?” The last thing I wanted to admit to my manager was that this change was actually because of a woman. The exact woman that she’d seemed to have doubted last night. “It’s the fresh, crisp air,” I said, leaning forward.
Bonnie deadpanned. “Really?” she asked, the sarcastic tone of her voice matching mine.
I shrugged. “Could be,” I said over my shoulder as I headed off stage. I didn’t want to stick around, dissecting our rehearsal with everyone. Especially when I knew the reason for my change was sitting in my dressing room at this very moment. That was where I wanted to be.
I wanted to be near her.
I gently knocked on the door just to announce my arrival before I turned the handle and pushed into the room. I expected to see Sabrina asleep with Samuel cradled in her arms, so when I was met with Sabrina’s wide eyes as she glanced up at me, I was taken aback. She looked like a wild woman as she narrowed her eyes.
“You have a daughter?” she asked.
I blinked, trying to process what she was saying. “I, um…”
“Are you married?” Her gaze dropped to my very naked ring finger. She frowned as she stared at it for a moment before returning her attention to her phone. “Singer Liam Carmichael and his partner, Katie Robins, welcomed his daughter, Anastasia Robins-Carmichael, last week.” She paused and glanced up at me.
I shut my dressing room door and then moved to lean one shoulder on the wall. It was a strange sensation, hearing my daughter’s name leave this woman’s lips.
“Yes, I have a daughter. No, I’m not married. We split up a few years ago. She lives with her mother in Florida.”
I wanted her to understand that I wanted to be an involved dad. Nothing would make me happier than to be there for my daughter. But her mother was controlling and manipulative, and even if I wanted to fight my ex for custody, I knew it would inevitably end up hurting Ana, and I couldn’t do that to her.
Sabrina paused before she glanced up at me once more. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Her eyes narrowed like she was trying to suss me out.
I held up my hands. “It wasn’t the right time, I guess. I’m not trying to hide her or anything. I…” Emotions coated my throat as I thought about that little girl. I wanted to be in her life so bad. I loved her so much. Sabrina was still watching me, so I cleared my throat and continued. “She’s my world.” I hated how vulnerable I felt when I talked about her. It made me want to knock down her mom’s door and take her into my arms. But I knew that Katie would only punish me more. In order to keep everyone safe, I needed to play by Katie’s rules. Even if I didn’t like them.
“How old is she?” Sabrina’s tone had softened.
“She’s six.” It felt strange to say that. My little girl really was growing up right before my eyes, and I was missing it. I hated that I was missing it.
Sabrina didn’t respond right away. Instead, she just sat there, digesting my words. Then she smiled. “I never pictured you as a girl dad.” Her gaze drifted up to me. “I guess that explains why you’ve been so helpful with Samuel.”
I knew what it was like to be a parent. While Katie and I were together, I took care of Ana most of the time. But that wasn’t why I liked Samuel so much. He was an adorable kid who had a great mom. A mom who was starting to invade my thoughts more than I wanted to admit.
I knew I couldn’t say those words to her, so I just nodded. “Yep. Us parents, we’ve got to stick together.” I snapped my fingers before I clapped my hands together. My gaze landed on the headphones that I’d sent Marion in with. “Ah, good. She got them to you.”
Sabrina glanced down and then reached over and held them up. “Yep.” She paused. “Thanks for getting them, but you know, it’s my job to get them for you.”
I shrugged. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.” I liked taking care of Sabrina and Samuel. It filled a hole in my heart that I hadn’t realized was there.
She narrowed her eyes and pinched her lips together as she studied me. “But I can’t be a good assistant if you don’t let me assist you,” she finally said.
I met her gaze. Was she really going to fight me on this? We engaged in yet another staring contest, and I contemplated fighting her but decided against it. If she wanted this, I wasn’t going to take it away from her. “Okay,” I replied. “Next time I need a pair of noise-canceling headphones for a baby, I’ll let you get them for me.” I raised my eyebrows as I awaited her response.
She paused before she nodded. “Good.”
“All righty.” I glanced around. “Ready to get out of here? I could use some lunch.”
