“A million times, dude,” Sawyer piped up next to me. He was sitting on a styling chair with his feet propped up on the vanity counter in front of him. He flipped an eyeliner pencil around his fingers over and over again.
Sawyer and I used to be inseparable. We’d been best friends since high school. I used to think I was so incredibly blessed to be able to do what I loved with the person who felt like a brother to me. After my mom passed away and I got involved with my ex, Sawyer didn’t approve of Katie, which strained our relationship.
Even though Katie and I were done, my relationship with Sawyer never fully recovered.
I decided not to dignify his comment with a response. Instead, I just leaned my head back once more and closed my eyes. “The crowd didn’t care,” I murmured.
I didn’t have to see the exchange between Bonnie and Sawyer to know that one took place. Their silent frustration spoke louder than their words ever could.
Back when we first started Fading Atlas, singing and doing concerts were fun. But, lately, I was growing resentful of my bandmates. Maybe it was age. Maybe it was exhaustion. I was tired. I was tired of living this life. Tired of having people tell me what to do and where to be. I never had time to just be…me.
Bonnie continued rattling off her notes, but I was no longer listening. All I could think about was how badly I wanted to get out of this room and how stifled I felt.
Like an answer to my prayer, there was a knock on the door, followed by a soft voice informing us that the VIP members were waiting for us in the meet-and-greet room. I took that as my signal to leave.
I hopped up off the couch and headed over to my vanity to grab my leather jacket and slip it on.
“You’re not coming with us?” Jet asked. He’d been following the others to the door but had stopped to stare at me.
I shook my head. “I’m going to sit this one out,” I said as I fed the zipper pin into the slider before yanking it up.
For the first time in two months, I was just minutes away from my daughter. I’d fulfilled my obligation to be on stage. Now the only thing I wanted to do was get the hell out of this place and spend time with the little girl who was growing up way too fast for my liking.
“Sit this one out?” Sawyer was standing in the middle of the doorway glaring at me. “Greeting fans is a requirement. It’s in your contract,” he said.
I shrugged as I grabbed my motorcycle helmet. “Fire me then.” When no one responded, I allowed myself to hope that I might finally be let out of this grueling life once and for all.
Then I heard Bonnie’s sigh.
“No need to talk like that,” she said, appearing behind Sawyer. “Lucky for us, your fans have grown accustomed to this aloof behavior. If anything, I think it endears you to them even more.”
Sawyer scoffed.
I shot him a wide smile. “You heard her, endears,” I said, emphasizing the word.
“Endears, my ass,” he mumbled as he folded his arms and continued to glare at me.
With my helmet tucked under my arm, I shrugged. “I’ve got places to be,” I said, nodding to the other band members as I passed by them. Just as I got to Sawyer, I paused and gave him another wide smile. “Tell the fans I say hi.”
Sawyer’s jaw muscles flinched, and from the corner of my eye, I saw his right hand ball into a fist. I waited a second longer to see if he was actually going to see that punch through, but he never landed the blow. Instead, he just glared at me before taking a step back.
I shifted my helmet to my left hand as I sidestepped Sawyer and headed down the hall in the opposite direction of the rest of the band. A security guard was standing next to the outside doors that I’d come in earlier. I nodded in his direction before I shoved my helmet on my head.
“Great performance.” My helmet muffled his voice.
“Thanks,” I said, flipping the visor up so I could see him.
“Need me to escort you out?”
“Naw.” I shook my head. “I’m pretty fast once I get going.”
He chuckled as he reached out and placed his hand on the door release. “Have a good night.”
“You, too.” I flicked my visor closed just as he pushed the door open.
Luckily, this exit was an isolated one. Bonnie had our RV parked around the corner, which was a distraction tactic for our fans. With my helmet on, I slipped past some groupies unnoticed. When I got to my motorcycle and revved the engine, I knew I was free.
I drove the fifteen minutes from the Kaseya Center to the Venetian Islands, where Katie’s house was. The house I bought for her when she got pregnant with Anastasia. The house I thought we were going to grow old in. The house where I was no longer wanted.
