He helped me to a seat and perched next to me. “Death trap party?”
I thought about explaining what happened that Sunday. Maybe he’d understand I went to Poles for him, and I had no intention of using him. But it was better if he didn’t, if he continued to hate me for what I’d done.
There was no denying he was attracted to me as much as I was attracted to him. It drove us both crazy and was compelling us to take risks and make drastic changes to our lives. But it was nothing more than that. Raw attraction. Pure animalistic lust. Not enough for anything but a good time in bed. He couldn’t possibly want anything more from me anyway.Icouldn’t possibly want anything more from him.
Whatever happened between us, it’d end very soon. The sooner the better. No attachments. No sentiments we both couldn’t afford.
“The whole point of that party is to prove to the world one of two things. Either I’m a pathetic liar or my fiancé isquestionable. I have a firm belief that Fletcher is digging some dirt on you to tell people at the party. But Zoey and I came out with a plan to play that in our favor, if it came to that. A gender flipped Pretty Woman of sorts. I hope you’re okay with that.”
His eyes narrowed at the gray horizon. “Am Iquestionableto you?”
That was all he cared about? “No,” I said without hesitation. “You like what you like. Entertainment comes in various ways. Besides, you have to support your family one way or another. People shouldn’t judge.”
He looked at me sideways. “I’m sensing a but in here.”
I nodded, licking my spoon, and he totally stared. I glanced down. When he looked at me like that, a guy really lusting over a woman, I felt weak in the knees. “If we were really engaged, I wouldn’t accept other women seeing you naked or sleeping with you. It’d drive me out of my mind, even if I trusted you or knew a hundred percent it was just work.”
“I can’t say you don’t have the right to feel that way. That’s why I’m quitting once I find another job that won’t make you feel bad about being with me.”
I blinked my way back to his gaze. “You’re quitting…because of…me?”
His gaze roamed my face for a long moment before he swallowed and looked away. “No. Pfft. Don’t be ridiculous. When I said you, I didn’t meanyou. I’m doing it for when I decide to have a long-term relationship with someone like you, if ever, not that I plan to remarry or anything like that, unless I fell in love, but that’s…never gonna happen. Ever. What’s love anyway? It’s…complicated and most of the time overrated.” He stuffed a huge lump of ice cream in his mouth. “Love messes you up. Fucks you right in the head.” He spoke funny when his mouth was half-closed. “Makes you afraid. Makes you question everything you believe in your life and turns your shit upside down. It’s…not worth it.”
“It’s totally worth it. Love is beautiful, Fabio.”
“I know,” he mumbled. “I’m a poetry-reading Italian guy. You think I don’t know that?”
“Then what was the crazy verbal diarrhea about?”
He put his cup aside on the bench and enveloped my hand with both of his, his touch for the first time cold and trembling. Then his eyes lifted to mine, searching for something. An answer I wish I could give, but I didn’t even know what the question was.
“Is this about your wife?” I dared. “Please tell me what happened to her.”
His eyes closed for a second as he raised both his eyebrows. Then he snorted. “Yeah. It’s totally about her.” He filled his mouth with ice cream again. “Her name was Priscilla. We went to the same school and grew up to be high school sweethearts. She was so beautiful, and we were happy, until…”
“If this is too hard for you, you don’t have to tell me right now.”
“It’s just that some people don’t like to see other people happy.” He wiped his palm against his forehead quickly. “I knocked her up when she was seventeen. She didn’t want to have an abortion, and neither did I. So I stayed with her even though things were rough at home and I should have returned to Chicago to take care of my family. I tried to find a job that could pay the bills for both of them, but I hadn’t even had my diploma yet.
“Daniel Larvin, afriendof mine whose father owned several restaurants and venues helped me get my first stripping gig.”
“Larvin? As in…the Irish Mob Larvin?”
He nodded. “The father was well connected so the police turned a blind eye about my age. The money was good. I couldn’t say no. And in all honesty, it was fun. Priscilla didn’t like it, though. We started to have fights. She thought I was cheating on her when I went to the parties and no longer wanted her or the baby.
“She came one day and told me she wanted the abortion. I flipped. I was sacrificing everything for her and the baby, my education, my future, my family, and even though I was seventeen and didn’t care, I knew I’d be sacrificing my dignity as well. How could she ask for that? Why?
“Later on, I found out the answer. It was Daniel who had been filling her head with that shit all along. It turned out he was one of the many boys who wanted to take my girl for themselves. He got me busy with my new job, pretending to be my friend, while he was messing with my girl’s head when I was away, throwing his dirty web on her. I smashed his face that night.”
“Oh my God. But he’s Mafia. Weren’t you scared of how he’d retaliate?”
“I should have been, but it was too late anyway.” His eyes darkened two shades, turning almost black. “I wished he’d killed me instead of what he’d done.”
My heart squeezed for him. I didn’t know what happened, but I assumed the worst. From what I’d read in Mafia romance books, those people were ruthless and their paybacks were painted red. “What did he do to your girl?”
“I took her and ran to Chicago. The Larvins didn’t have leverage there. My city is run by the Italian Mob. The Bellomos didn’t like the Larvins and would have protected us.”
“Wait a second. How do you know that much about crime families?”
