Another snort. “You did, silly. You finally succumbed to temptation and did it.” Her giggle radiated through her face.
My head spun like I was about to pass out.
“Lina? What’s going on? Did you just start your period? You don’t look so hot. Is that what it was all about yesterday?” My panic suddenly reached her but for all the wrong reasons. “Oh my God. Is the dress ruined? Please don’t tell me it’s ruined.” She sounded like she was about to cry.
“No. Don’t worry. It’s as good as new. But… Yeah, I just…um… I’ma make myself some anise tea and rest a little bit for the cramps to pass.” I tried to swallow, but my mouth felt like a rock. “Why don’t you go ahead and return your dress, and I’ll do mine later today?” I couldn’t bear another second of this. If she asked one more question or gave me one more examining look, I was gonna collapse.
“Okay. Yeah sure. I’ll go make you that anise tea then I’ll go.”
I allowed myself to breathe. “Thanks, Sis.”
When she left the room, I was out of breath again. Rapidly, I tore through my closet and checked the goddamn dress for the tags, for a note, for any fucking thing left with it.
Nothing.
My heart sank to my knees. Nicky didn’t buy me this dress. Someone else did. Someone who had been following me to know I wanted to buy this dress. Who knew where I lived. Who could get in and out our condo without being noticed, whenever he pleased.
Him.
Nicky’s footsteps boomed closer. I hid the dress in the closet and sat on the bed, trying so hard to stop shaking.
She set the cup on the nightstand, and then she kissed me. “You’re gonna catch a cold like this. Get dressed, sweetie.”
I faked a smile and nodded once.
“Are you sure it’s just your period?” she asked, concern dripping from her voice. “You’ve been acting really strange. Did something happen? You never told me where you went on your own last night when I left you.”
I thought about telling Nicky the truth. I hated lying to her, and after knowing thathecould break into our condo that easily, I was more scared than ever. But if I told her, she’d freak out. She’d do anything to keep me safe, including leaving everything behind and go somewhere else where she might thinkhecouldn’t find us.
My sister was finally happy. New home. New school. I couldn’t ruin things for her now.
“I went out for some air and got lost. It was just for a few minutes.” That felt like a lifetime. “Then I found the signs and followed them back to the auditorium.”
Disappointment crossed her face as she nodded. I could tell she didn’t believe me. “Okay. Just know that you can tell me anything. I’m always here for you.”
“I know. I’m here for you, too.”
She smiled and kissed me again. Then she left, and I crumbled on the floor, sobbing, panicking. “I’m such an idiot. How could I think ofhimin any other way thanhewas? A freakin’ psycho stalker.”
A horrible thought flickered in my head. What ifhewas watching me right now?
I bolted upright, my eyes darting around, right and left, up and down, searching for cameras. “Can you see me? Are you watching me in my own bedroom?” Fear turned into rage as I rose to my feet. “You’re a coward. Do you hear me? You’re a fucking coward.” I held my towel tight to my body, afraid it might fall, afraidhe’d see me naked. Afraidhemight already have. “Show yourself, you piece of shit!”
My head and I spun in endless circles, silence and fury my only company. “Is that what I am to you? A game you watch? A toy you dress up and undress for your amusement? A property you plan to buy? You think you can buy me with a dress?” I stormed inside the closet and yanked the stupid thing out. I tossed it on the floor and stomped on it. “Here it is. Your precious gift.” It wasn’t just the dress, though. It was all the other birthday presents, too. I touched my ear, pulling the earrings, almost tearing my earlobes, and threw the expensive, disgusting jewelry at the window.
The violin peeked from my chair, and I grabbed it. In a full swing, my arms rose behind me to smash it, but I froze, my heart shattering. This instrument was more than an object. It was my only solace. My best friend. I couldn’t just kill it.
Instead, I crumbled again on the chair, tears burning my face. “Why? How could you do this to me? How could you hurt me like that? I thought you were my savior, my protector. How could you violate me like that?”
It wasn’t likehehadn’t broken into my bedroom before. I had no doubt nowhehad broken into our old house, andhewas the one leaving me the presents in my Bellomo dorm. As crazy and wrong as it may sound, I didn’t mind thathedid. I even liked it. Loved every moment ofhisattention. Adored thathecared. I believed that washisway of telling mehestill remembered me. Letting me know that I mattered tohim, andhewas still out there watching over me.
The little girlhehad to save.
But breaking into this condo for God knew how many times, leaving me a sexy dress that made me look like a woman, not a little girl…
Yesterday showed me how much of an idiot I’d been. All this time I was nothing but a bodyhethoughthecould buy when it was ripe enough.
Tears flowed in abundance now. The pain tightening my chest was almost as bad as the ache my father carved inside me. Nicky was right. Her words echoed in my head.Nobody does stuff like that for people like us without expecting something in return either. It’s been four years. Don’t you think he’d have showed up by now, asking for whatever the hell he wanted in return from us? From you?
