“I know. I’ll go from the back. Thanks.” He hung up.
The phone fell to my lap, my eyes pinned to the door. When I heard the key rattle, I flinched. The door opened and Kyle’s blond hair popped in as he took off his cap. He stood by the door for a few seconds, glancing at me. The eyes said it all. The hurt. The betrayal. The love. The longing. By the puffiness under them and the circles around, I knew he’d been crying. A lot.
He let himself in and closed the door, his head down. “I’m just gonna get some things and go.”
I traced him as he stumbled through the apartment, grabbing random things. It was odd watching his incredible body that once drove me crazy and feeling nothing. Not the slightest bit of temptation.
“How long have you been waiting for me?” I asked.
“Um…a few hours.” He opened the closet and got a suitcase out of it. “You haven’t stayed here since…the party.” His neck rolled back. “Where have you been staying?”
Flashes of the disaster party streamed in my mind, guilt escalating inside me. I pulled at the back of my hair, my stomach tied in a thousand knots, thinking of the best deflection tactic to use; I couldn’t tell him the truth. “You stalking me now?”
“Maybe.” He chuckled a humorless sound. “I tried to call you, but you never answered, so I got a little worried.” His hands grabbed some shirts from the clothes rack and threw them in the suitcase. I could see the tightness of his jaw and the scowl on his face from where I sat, and when our eyes met, my chest squeezed with pain.
He spun and let the suitcase drop on the floor, and my heart sank to my knees. “You left without a word. You didn’t say why. You didn’t say goodbye. You didn’t say anything. You just disappeared.” His blue eyes glittered. “You don’t think I deserve an explanation, some sort of closure, a chance to fix what went wrong?”
My chin quivered. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” he asked incredulously. “How could you do this to me? Why did you lie to me?”
“I never lied to you.”
“You told me you loved me when you were in love with him the whole time,” he yelled.
I rose from the bed. “Kyle, you know I didn’t say I loved you till I meant it. When I said it, I felt every word.”
He crossed to my side and stood so close I could feel his heated breaths on my face. “Look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t leave me to be with him.”
I squared my shoulders and stared at him with daring eyes, guilt suddenly replaced by anger. “I didn’t leave you to be with him.”
“Stop lying to me.”
“I’m not lying.” Two days ago, Mike had been a fantasy I hadn’t known could come true. And even if I hadn’t been in love with Mike, I would have never married Kyle.
“Then why?” he asked under his breath.
I lowered my head. “Kyle, please. What difference does it make?”
“I need to know. I loved you more than anything in the world. Why did you do this to me, Maggie? Why?” he shouted.
“Because since we moved in together, I couldn’t recognize myself anymore,” I snapped, my chest heaving.
He stepped back, his eyes dimming, dark. “What are you talking about? You were happy.”
“Happy? Kyle, I looked perfect on the outside, handmade for you, but on the inside, I felt like shit. Not good enough as I am.” A lump rose to my throat. “Exactly the way my mother made me feel. The same kind of manipulation. The same kind of hurt.”
Dazed, he stared at me. “When have I ever manipulated you?”
“Oh my God.” I didn’t know what upset me more now, what he’d done or how oblivious he was to it. “How about when you got me to move in with you, the spontaneous sex and saying dirty words that never happened again after that night? Or the birthday party? I’m sure you hated every part of it, but it was the perfect setup to blind me with your generosity and the great length you’d go to make it perfect forme.Another thing I’m positive wouldn’t have happened again once I said yes.”
“Maggie…I was just trying to please you.”
“Please me? By cooking me chicken dinners even though you know how much I hate it? Or by inviting the person who has hurt me the most to my birthday? Or by taking her side the second you met her when I’ve told you exactly how she treated me? Tell me, Kyle, how would that please me?” My voice cracked. “How was I supposed to marry someone who won’t stand up for me? Someone who tells meI’mthe problem?”
His lips pressed together as he placed his hands on either side of my face. I thought his touch was going to make me nervous, remind me of how I used to feel for him, but it fell bland on my cheeks.
“I’m so sorry, Maggie. I didn’t understand, but I do now.” He nodded emphatically. “Sweetheart, please, just give me another chance. I swear I can fix it.”
