I bent one leg under me, tugging at the towel. “I made the terrible mistake of telling my own mother how I truly felt. Told her architecture wasn’t for me, explained how lost and unhappy I was. There was no way I could stay in that hell for two more years to get my license. But did it matter? She only gave me that God-awful look she’s always given me. The fucking look you give a failure.”
He folded his arms around me and pressed me to his chest. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
I closed my eyes, willing the tears away. “Right then, I realized I’d always be a shortcoming to her. Nothing would ever make her see me differently. That day I swore I’d never let her have that power over me again. I promised myself I’d never do anything I didn’t believe in.”
“I’m really sorry you had to go through this, baby.”
I sniffled, bringing my gaze to him. The soft expression on his face looked too close to pity for my liking. “You weren’t there, Kyle. Mike was. That’s why he jumped to help me with no questions asked. He knows exactly what going back to my old job means.” All the shitty feelings I experienced over the years I’d lived in my parents’ house swelled through me all at once. My breathing became rapid, yet shallow, a panic attack threatening its way into my chest. “It means she’s won…and I’ve failed.”
He enfolded me as I shuddered. “Hey, calm down. Just breathe.” He cupped my face with his hand. “Look at me. Breathe.”
I focused on his blue eyes, evening my breath, cuffing the memories. “That woman has hurt me more than you can imagine. What I’ve just told you is the tip of the iceberg.” I trembled. “So please, try to be more understanding.”
He wiped his hands across my face and rubbed my wet shoulders and arms, his warm fingers soothing. “I will. I’m sorry.”
Then he took my lips between his. I kissed him back. His tongue twisted around mine, taking my mind off the past, setting my pulse to skitter. In a good way.
The towel was now on the floor, and his firm hands were all over me. “I love you,” he murmured as he settled on top of me.
Here came those three words again. The first time he’d made that confession was two months ago. When I shoved my tongue down his throat instead of saying them back, he just smiled after. Since then, he’d said those words whenever he got the chance, and every time my response was hot sex. I could see in his eyes how badly he wanted to hear it from me. But I didn’t say it. I couldn’t.
And not only because I was hung up on a silly fantasy.
Long term relationships scared the hell out of me, and when I started dating Kyle, I had no intention to make it last this long. Seven months. But I liked him. So much. And when he did say he loved me, I didn’t freak out. A good sign that kept this relationship hopeful. Perhaps one day I could say them back for the first time. To him and not to…
I bit his mouthwatering lips, stopping my mind from wandering off, stroking the bulge between his legs.
Lowering his head, he kissed between my breasts while his hands explored their smooth skin. As his finger stroked the scar near my heart, I became short of breath again. He looked at me. “Is it still tender?”
I shook my head, smiling. “It’s almost nine years old. This isn’t why I’m gasping.” I pressed his head back to my chest. “Don’t stop.” My fingers tangled in his dirty blond hair as his tongue moved in circles around my hardening nipples. “You make my pussy so fucking wet, Kyle. Fuck me already.”
He glanced up at me, his lips stretched in a shy smile. “You know you don’t have to talk dirty to turn me on.”
“I know I don’t have to. I talk dirty because I like it. Why don’t you try it sometimes?”
“Because it makes me really uncomfortable.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I guess I’m not used to it.”
“Yeah, ‘cause you’re so…good.” I kissed his neck. “Can’t say dirty, filthy words.” I placed my hands on either side of his face. “Too bad.”
“Why?”
“I have a thing for bad boys with foul mouths.”
He blinked, bobbing his head. “I can do it. Whatever it takes to get you going.”
I giggled and held his swollen lips between mine. “You don’t need to do anything.” My fingertips ran between his thighs. “You got all I need right here, and it’s huge and fucking hard, and I want it all.”
I hoped, when the time came, I would scream the right name.
Scene10
Maggie
