This might be the first time Mom has ever acted out toward me in front of Capri. Not sure what made her so bold, but there’s nothing I can do to prevent Capri from seeing it now.
“Cute, Mother. Sounds like you could use a little sweet to go with your sour.” I hold up a powdered Boston cream, signaling for her to take a bite. “Oh, come on. A few carbs won’t hurt.”
“Will you ever learn to be serious, my dear?” she scolds.
“Mom,” Capri deadpans, looking shocked.
Just another day in the neighborhood, sis.
“Probably not, but you knew that, right?” I take a full-mouth bite of my strawberry-sprinkled donut and smile with all my teeth. “How do I look?”
Capri yelps, falling into a fit of laughter. “Oooo, my turn,” she says, biting into her chocolate-frosted sprinkle.
Mom rolls her eyes, choosing not to entertain us any further. “Capri, come on, darling. You’ve got to try your dress on for the seamstress.”
“Oh, yes! Ahhhh,” she rushes. “I’m getting marrieddddd!” We jump, scream, shout, and dance like no one’s watching as we celebrate Capri’s marriage to Jones.
God, she’s glowing. Long blonde hair and sun-kissed skin. Curves for days, that I’d quite literally murder for. Our facial features are similar, but Capri is much more womanly in shape, a feature she used to be ashamed of.
But not since Jones.
Reminds me a bit about how Easton makes me feel. Like I should be proud of who I am, and most importantly, whoIsee myself as. Fuck what anyone else thinks.
I’m happy to finally be with my sister. Not only is it long overdue, but she’s helping distract me from the other night. The night my feelings for Easton Voss came to a head.
I know Capri can sense my struggle despite being so fucking happy for her.
“Go on,” I usher Capri toward the Trunchbull and take a seat on the mauve velvet loveseat, waiting for the big reveal.
Capri looks at me hesitantly, like she’s afraid to leave me with Mom. But I can hold my own. This day is about her, and I won’t let Mom’s animosity toward me ruin that for her.
I won’t lie, though. She’s been extra snippy since I got back from my trip. I can remember a day when she smiled at me much more than scowled. It hurts despite how much I play it off.
A part of me wants to ask her, but the other part is afraid of what she might say. Is it worth re-opening old wounds for the sake of answers?
Pushing those thoughts away, I take in the bridal shop where Capri said yes to the dress. Rowling Bridal is a hidden gem in Timber Heights. It’s rare to find a trendy, vintage, and just overall girly vibe business in our small beach town.
The top half of the walls is covered in light pink and mauve paisley wallpaper designs. Not the tacky kind you see in cheap gas stations, but the sophisticated kind. The bottom half is bordered with an exquisite wainscoting, painted the same mauve color that seems to be the primary color the design is centered around. The whole space contains small pops of emerald green, making it feel cozy and warm regardless of the elegant charm.
What would it feel like to shop for my own wedding dress in a shop like this?
The fact that I’m thinking about the future as something permanent should scare me. I’m the one who runs away while Capri settles and plants roots.
But lately, planting roots doesn’t sound so bad.
It might entirely be because I miss the broody ranger I spent days in a camper van with. Yeah, that’s definitely it.
I miss him, and I hate it. I hate that I miss him so dang badly.
Who else is supposed to make me the best steak of my life and watch movies in the woods with me? Or what about holding me in his lap until he’s ready to let go? Not me, but him. The man is a certified hugger, and I grew to like those hugs a whole freaking lot.
It makes perfect sense in my chaotic brain. But that’s the thing. As crazy as it may sound, I want to be able to explain how perfect my time with Easton was to anyone who asks.
For once, I want to have something exciting to share with the people I love and for them to be happy for me. Most likely surprised that I’m even considering a man for something longer than one night, but that’s the point, right?
Is this me considering him?
The point is…what’s the fucking point? I can travel the world and see every national treasure, but if it isn’t with someone I love and care about, what’s even the point?
