“Yeah. Yeah,” I mumble hoarsely, nodding along with her words as they bury deep. “I just hate that he’s gone. I hate that my parents are without a son and I’m without a brother. My sister is without a brother. I hate that Syd missed out on her once-in-a-lifetime love. I fucking hate it, Collie. I mean, who gets off on taking the good ones early? He was too young. Too fucking good. I hate that I could have been making him proud all this time instead of feeling sorry for myself.”
“Easton Voss, you look at me right now.” She pins me with her glare. There’s no laughter in her tone, just intention. “Don’t you dare talk about my friend like that. You may havegone about things differently than Ben would have wanted, but you didn’t do anything wrong. Never fault yourself for how you chose to grieve. That’s your free pass. Only you can decide what you do with all the things you know to be true now. So, what are you gonna do about it, Easton? You just gonna sit on your ass and cry about it or are you gonna do something? It’s up to you to change and make Ben proud. That’s the man you are now. I see that in you.”
She’s right.
Every word Collie says is true. I’m the only one who can decide how I take the things Ben has left behind and use them to make a difference in the world.
In honor of him. His life. His purpose. The way he invested so much of himself in his personal relationships with people.
“Thank you, Collie,” I sigh, doing my best to calm myself down. “It’s not easy to hear, but you’re right. I’ve been sleeping all these years, and it’s time I woke up. I’ve got some work to do, and I acknowledge that. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make sure Ben’s death wasn’t for nothing.”
Never. My twin lives on in me, and that’s a gift.
“You know you can call me, right? When you get back home and find yourself in need of a friend to talk to, I’m your girl, okay?”
“I don’t think you’ll ever realize the impact you’ve had on my life in such a short time, Collie. I mean that. Life doesn’t feel so heavy anymore. This letter has been a weight I’ve been terrified to lift, too scared of how I might handle the outcome.”
Her head falls to rest on my shoulder. Our connection is as natural as the transition from sunrise to sunset. It’s effortless. “I feel the same, Easton. You’ve shown me life throughan entirely different perspective. I find myself appreciating the stillness. I’m not sure I’ll ever fully settle, but the need to constantly be on the go doesn’t entertain my thoughts the way it once did. In a way, I think what I’ve learned about your relationship with Ben has taught me that. I see my sister settling down with the love of her life and starting a family, while I’m in the same place I’ve always been. Except now jobless, too.”
I run my fingertips across her arm, hoping to comfort her the best way I can. I know she doesn’t need me to try and fix things for her. She’s strong enough to do that without me. “Have you given any more thought to what you might do?”
“A little bit,” Collie tells me, and I’m comforted to hear her tone perk up a bit. “I have enough savings to get me through a couple of months, but I may go stir-crazy waiting around that long without something to do. I also have the check I deposited, which I still don’t know what to do with. But a part of me kind of wants to do my own thing. Maybe open up a fitness studio in town. Or even in some random town. I can go wherever, I guess. But I think I’m ready to settle without the travel schedule like my old job. I don’t know. Having something for myself sounds like it could be pretty fun. Be my own boss. Make my own hours. Ya know?”
“I think if that’s what would make you happy, then you should go for it.”
“I think it would.” She smiles, and a comfortable silence stretches between us.
Tomorrow morning, we’ll head to the airport and say goodbye to all the good memories Yellowstone has brought us. A trip that felt like much more than a vacation or mental sabbatical.
It’s been life-changing.
“Hey, Easton?” Collie’s body relaxes into me, her voice just above a whisper. It’s getting late.
“Yeah, beautiful girl?”
“When you go back to Salt Hollow…and you tell your friends all about the hot blonde you met at the airport…” I chuckle, not knowing where this is going. “Make sure you tell them I was a great kisser. Best you ever had.”
“Those details are mine to keep,” I whisper back, kissing the top of her head. “But I’ll tell them all about the hot blonde that stormed into my life on a mission to ruin me for all the women to come.”
“Okay…” She exhales tiredly. “That’ll do, Ranger. That’ll do.”
29
COLLIE
“There’s no crying in baseball.”
“I don’t know why I expected you to take this goodbye seriously.” Easton shakes his head, a smirk rising at the corner of his lips.
“Was two weeks seriously not long enough for you to gather that having fun beats being sad every single time?” I cross my arms at my chest as we stand face-to-face between terminals.
This is it.
“Get over here and hug me already.” Easton pulls me to him, his strong arms holding me in the tightest embrace. I’m gonna miss his warmth. His tranquil smell of coffee and bourbon. The way one inhale settles every haphazard nerve inside of me.
I’ve been a live wire around him since the moment he offered me his phone. Walking on pins and needles to keep myself from falling for him.
Somewhere along the way, I think I might have.
