I realize more than ever it’s the simple life I crave.
A house big enough for what I need, but nothing above my means. A woman to love whole-heartedly that loves me right back. A stable job to provide for my family—enough stability to have a family.
Good health. A decent chunk in savings. And friendship.
If I could ever be fortunate enough to have those things, I’ll want for nothing.
“Can I offer you a bit of advice, son?” Dan asks me, abandoning his grapes and leaning forward to give me his undivided attention.
“Sure. I’d appreciate that, sir.”
“First off, don’t let me hear that sir shit again. You wanna call me something? Call me a friend. We ain’t unequals here. We’re Dan and Easton. Shootin’ the shit and havin’ ourselves a conversation. You hear me, boy?”
“Yes, si–.Yes, Dan.”
“Easy peasy,” he agrees. “Now, down to business. I want ya to listen to me clearly cuz I’m not one to get off on repeatin’ myself.”
What the fuck is happening?
All I can do is nod and agree. I have no idea where this is going, but I have a feeling it’s a conversation I won’t forget.
“I’ve been around a long time. Longer than a lot of these squirrels out here. Now, I may not know much about those powerlines you build and what happens past these forest walls, but I do know a real connection when I see it. And boy, you and that pretty wife of yours got it. I see the way she looks at you, and you her. It’s a rare kind. Now, pardon my French, but don’t you dare fuck it up. Or that one will surely hurt for days to come.”
Despite Dirty Dan and Sheila not knowing the truth behind Collie and me, it still feels real. It’s wild and not normal at all, but it’s as if we’ve been in each other’s lives for decades.
Longer than most.
Not just the physical connection between us, although electric, the emotional relationship and trust we’veestablished together is something I have yet to find with people I’ve known since I was a kid.
I don’t know what that means. I don’t have all the answers. But I do know it’s going to be immensely painful saying goodbye to Collie tomorrow.
“Thanks for saying that, man. I love my wife, and we’re lucky to have what we have. I don’t take it for granted.”
This is the first time I’ve almost convinced myself of our white lie.
“Good. Now, love her well and have dirty nookie for the rest of your lives together.” He kicks back in the chair, eyes toward the blue sky. “Oh, and good communication. That’s what Sheila tells me, at least. I’m still learnin’ that one.”
Dirty nookie? Jesus Christ.
I think we have the hot sex part down. Without a shadow of a doubt.
It’s the communication part that I’ve always struggled with. Making my feelings known.
But what if the woman I want to communicate with lives in another state? Or has a life outside of our bubble in Wyoming? What if I’m just a temporary fling to her, and this trip was a means to an end?
I can’t ask her to be with me.
That would be too selfish. Too spontaneous. Unlike me in every way possible.
Collie doesn’t have a job. Something she still needs to figure out when she gets back to South Carolina. She has an apartment. And her parents. Her sister’s wedding is coming up. Hell, she’s about to be an aunt.
And me? Well, I have a job. A stable career I’ve busted my ass to build, and a home where everyone I know and love is.
I also have relationships I have to mend. Well, more so, aconversation needs to be had with my parents, and I need to check on Sydney. Everyone else can worry about themselves. I see now that I should have felt that way from the beginning.
This is my life.
Yet, there are still too many factors in our way. Too many to fight through.
