“A small part of it was pressure from our families. I don’t think they meant to. They were so happy to see us spending time together that it began to feel necessary. Almost like co-dependency. Sydney, Ben, and I…we were a trio. And when we lost him, I didn’t want to live anymore, Collie. I couldn’t fathom a life without my brother. But Sydney was the only other person in this world who understood how I felt, and she felt the same. The first time we ever slept together felt like a chore. A mark on a checklist we needed to complete. It never felt how I knew sex should—like we needed each other’s touch to exist. But at that point, we had both accepted that this was our life, and better to be together than to struggle apart. Even if the romantic love was never there.”
“I…God, Easton. I don’t know what to say other than I can’t possibly imagine. I haven’t been through something as heartbreaking myself, but I can be empathetic. You should never have to explain or justify to anyone how you chose to grieve. My heart just breaks for you. Your family. And Sydney, too.”
She’s so kind. And it feels good to finally be honest about it. To share with someone who doesn’t know my family, Ben, or the past two years of my life.
“I’m finally at a place where I know marrying her would have been a mistake. When I called off the wedding, she knew it, too.”
“Were you both able to talk?” Collie asks.
I nod. “We talked right after I stopped the ceremony. Sydney would have gone through with it, but I think she’s thankful for it now. We both admitted to never fully accepting Ben’s death on our own and the whole process of how we got to marriage was unhealthy. She’s actually the one who insisted I go on this trip.”
“It was supposed to be your honeymoon, wasn’t it?” A smile ghosts her face and despite feeling vulnerable, I love that Collie can make any uncomfortable moment fun and exciting. It’s something I’ve discovered she’s really fucking good at.
My lips curl. “It was. Sydney failed to mention the marriage retreat part in the planning, though.”
“I love the girl already.” Collie squeezes my hand, and it dawns on me that she hasn’t let go.
“Sydney’s cool,” I tell her. “You’re cool, too, Collie. And I really appreciate you listening to me. It feels…good to talk about it. To talk about everything like it’s not a secret. Actually, kinda therapeutic.”
“It’s not a secret. It’s your life and a part of your story. That’s never something to be ashamed of, Easton. You should be proud of where you are now. I mean, did you ever think you’d invite a stranger to Yellowstone with you?”
I chuckle. “Fuck no. I wouldn’t even invite myself if that were possible.”
“And look at us now. We’re the best of friends.” Her grin makes my chest thunder with something unfamiliar and alarmingly warm.
“We’re friends, but you also want to fuck me?” I tip my head back and laugh, side-eyeing her like she’s caught in a tangle.
Collie holds up her hands in surrender. “I’m starting to trust you as a friend, Ranger. But you can bet your thick ass in those Wranglers I want to fuck you. Don’t get shy on me now. I know you want to fuck me, too.”
I’m no longer laughing but also refusing to cower or retreat like I know she expects me to. “What I want is for you to wear some decent clothes. Preferably ones that keep you covered and warm.”
“Ah ha!” Collie shouts. “I knew you wanted to fuck me!”
I roll my eyes, fighting back a smile. “I never said that.”
“You didn’t have to. I know sexy bedroom eyes when I see them.” Collie leans forward into my space, and my entire body goes still, anticipating her next move. “You watch me, Easton. I can feel your eyes on me every second of the day,” she whispers at the cusp of my ear, her tone filled with the sexiest rasp. “Don’t think I didn’t catch you watching me touch myself this morning. I can’t help it when you’re around. I’ve woken up with soaked panties every morning since meeting you, and I won’t be quiet about that.”
“Fuck.” I knew she saw me. I had a strong feeling, but I wrote it off as being paranoid.
She’s dangerously forward.
A giggle with multiple meanings escapes her bow-shaped lips. “Thought so,” she boasts. “The offer still stands. I’m yours when you’re ready. Whenever you need to talk and whenever you’re finally ready to fuck. Just say the word. Or don’t.”
I’m not sure how much longer I can pretend not to be affected by her.
Collie Meadows is getting under my skin. I’m seconds away from taking charge and showing my lost girl just how forward I can be.
16
COLLIE
“Ready to checkoff another task on that bucket list, Ranger?”
“Whose bucket list we talkin’ about here? You’re the one whose ass was halfway across the ground before I even made it out of the van.”
He’s not wrong. The moment Easton invited me to Yellowstone, I knew I had to experience a hot spring for myself.
After driving for close to two hours, we stumbled upon this random spring, far from locals and tourists. Getting anywhere in Yellowstone takes ages, so we knew we wanted to find a hot spring that would be worth the drive.
