Jennifer, Dot, Rachel and the rest of their party head off in search of Louis Vuitton and I promise to keep an eye out for them at the departure gate later.
Meanwhile, the thought of sitting down again makes my insides cry so I decide to do what I do best, and potter around the shops. Soon enough I’m flicking through tiny keyring options in the Discover Singapore store and wondering if I really do needanother new pen. This one is covered in happy rabbits, so obviously the answer is yes. Feeling cheered by my new purchase, I head over to a stall selling juices and opt for a green one which promises to turn me into a goddess.
This is what I need. A new pen for making new plans in my new life as a goddess. I simply cannot spend any more time wallowing about like a hippo in mud. I’ll go mad if I sit with these bad vibes any longer. I will not allow myself to believe that I am doomed for all eternity because that is some high-level buzzkill.
With purpose, I carry my green juice over to a long bank of desks with high-backed stools in front of them. I’m going to make a plan! And this one, I promise, will have absolutely nothing to do with my past. Nudging a nearby stool to one side and plonking my bag down on it, I pull out my notebook and my shiny new pen, and plug my phone in to a USB port to charge. Then I lean against the desk.
It’s time to manifest the heck out of my future.
Moving on from Monday 1 September
Stop relying on men to get you out of a fix – this should have been obvious from the start because we’re not in the 1950s anymore.
That includes Callum – clearly lost your chance there. Get over it. See above, men aren’t the answer anyway.
Focus on you – a strong and capable woman. You can achieve whatever you want. See career for evidence!
So, what do I want? I wonder, tapping my new bunny rabbit pen on the notebook.
I want Callum.
No, Nina! Don’t be silly. We literally just discussed this.
What I actually want is freedom, I decide. The time and space to get out of this never-ending Monday.
Appreciate what you have – no more backward glances and longing looks at the past. The present is a bit shit right now but the future could be amazing.
Callum
Oops, I was not thinking there when I scribbled Callum’s name as point number five. I cross it out.
Callum
Stop thinking about men! Jenniferdidmake some good points about relationships not needing to begin with friendship … But never mind that, time to focus on you!
Make your own chances
Remember American podcast host’s words of wisdom. ‘Don’t let time boss you around.’
Yes, that’s it! You’re not the boss of me, time loop. I take another slurp of green juice, a fresh reminder that I am a self-empowered goddess. I just need to focus on myself. Let’s face it, the past few days have been a whole entire headache and I really do blame men. Life would be so much less complicated without them.
Maybe that’s it, a small voice whispers in my mind.
Maybe that’s my ticket out of here, after all.
I look around me, at the people I haven’t seen before. The faceless travellers making their own way around the world today. The families with young kids wheeling around on those sweet little suitcases made to look like brightly coloured animals. The business people in suits, glued to their phones. The travellers wearing baggy trousers with travel pillows still around their necks.
It takes me a minute to realize how much of this Monday is new, now. The lack of delay, the absence of Hamish, the time with Jennifer … it really has changed a lot.
My flight is called and I wonder, with trepidation, if this reallycould be a new start. Or at least, not the end, like it has been every single Monday so far. Has my new future-focused mindset helped? In five hours’ time, will I step off the plane at Perth airport and actually make it on to Australian soil?
Without Callum.
Urgh! A niggling part of my brain reminds me that whatever happens, he won’t be with me for it. But that’s over with. Nina only looks forward from now on.And I promise to cherish every moment, I think, offering up a silent prayer to any gods who might be listening. I really will make the most of my life!
Okay, it’s time to go. I slot my notebook and pen back into my bag, and drain the last of the juice. I’m about to walk towards the departure gate when I realize I’ve left my phone charging on the desk.
My heart thuds in the way it can when you experience a near miss.
