I can’t help but titter at this.
In the end, Jennifer, Rachel and Dot lift my spirits so much. I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun without my brain feeling like a fried egg that’s been left out in the sun. We share stories for so long that other people are starting to turn their lights out.
‘So, Nana, tell us more about why you’re in a fix.’
‘Pffftttt,’ I say, blowing air out of my mouth. ‘It’s complicated.’
‘Even better,’ says Jennifer. ‘Come on, spill.’
‘I’ve spent the past decade convinced that there’s no one better than my ex-boyfriend, the one that got away, and then I recently met up with him again and realised how flawed that logic was.’
‘Of course it was, honey,’ says Jennifer. ‘I personally hate that whole one-that-got-away thing. So ridiculous. You broke up for a reason, things weren’t right. My very wise best friend once told me something which I live my life by, now. He said: “Don’t go back”. The advice works in so many scenarios. Think about it, you go on a fabulous holiday and want to book the same place again for the following year. You ignore my best friend, and you do go back and guess what, it’s not quite as good. The shine has worn off a little, because you’ve already had that first rush. It’s all a bit less.’
I listen intently.
‘But mostly, it applies to exes. Honey, I can guarantee that you kicked that guy to the kerb for a good reason. And if he dumped you? Then thank goodness for that.’
‘I do totally agree with you,’ I say. ‘It’s been a revelation, I can tell you, and it feels good to let go of the what-ifs.’
‘So, then, what’s the problem?’ asks Jennifer.
‘I’m falling for someone else.’
‘And that is bad because …’
‘I hate him.’
Everyone considers this for a moment.
‘Are you sure about that?’ Dot asks.
‘Well, no, I used to hate him. But it doesn’t matter anyway, because I’ve lost my chance.’
‘Is he seeing someone else?’
‘No. It’s more that I had my opportunity and I messed it up.’
‘You’re making this sound very final.’
‘It is. Like, I’m not even sure if I’ll see him again. And even if I did, and even if he wanted something to happen, it couldn’t. A good relationship needs strong foundations, right? You should be friends first. That just makes sense.’
‘Oh honey, no it doesn’t.’ Jennifer shakes her head vehemently, while Rachel in the seat behind starts to cackle. ‘Why on earth do you reckon you need to be friends first?’
‘Because it’s obvious?!’ I begin. ‘My mum raised me all on her own because my dad was totally absent. I’ve never met him and all I know is what Mum’s had to tell me over the years. That she and this guy burned very bright, fizzled out quickly, and nine months later there I was. She never dwells on it massively but she did always make it clear that a solid relationship needed good strong foundations.’
‘And you’ve decided that means you need to skip off into the sunset with your best-friend, slow-burn, possibly quite boring lover?’ asks Jennifer.
‘Ouch,’ I chuckle.
‘Jennifer, stop overstepping,’ says Rachel. ‘She does that all the time.’
‘Do you seriously think you need to be friends with a partner before you get together?’ Jennifer ploughs on.
The group laughs hard for such a long time that I keep checking the time, wondering if we might be about to land. Not quite, but by the time Dot stops chortling we are flying somewhere off the coast of Myanmar.
‘Some of my best relationships have come from a place that definitely was not friendship,’ Jennifer says. ‘Let’s see, my last husband was obviously a dreadful human being. Loved golf. We met through friends, so I guess you could say we were friends first.’
‘Proof that friends isn’t always a good place to start,’ chips inRachel. ‘Tell Nana about the husband before that. Jennifer’s had a lot of husbands,’ she adds to me.
