‘Mmm. Firstly, the unresolved history thing. You’re talking about my ex, and there’s quite a lot of complicated things happening in my life that I sure as hell don’t want to get bogged down with right now, but let’s just say that I suspect Hamish might be able to help me with something pretty major. And yes, I was in love with him many years ago. Not now. Now, I’m not sure I even like him massively, but I do think he can help me.’
Callum nods slowly.
‘Second on the agenda. You’re right.’
‘I am?’ he says.
‘A little bit of me does want you too,’ I say. What the heck?! Here I am speaking my mind like a crazy person. I don’t even feel awkward about it! In fact, I quite like it. Refreshing!
‘Just a little bit?’ Callum asks, and he does not move an inch.
I’m itching to close the gap between us but this feels like a very delicate game of chess and I refuse to be the first to make a move.
‘Just a little bit,’ I reply, the most spectacular lie of all time. Every single last bit would be a more accurate response.
‘So if Humphrey’s out the way and you do like me, albeit fractionally …’ Callum pauses, cocks an eyebrow suggestively.
‘Like you say, it’s complicated. You’re always mean to me, for a start.’
‘You started it.’
I’m about to protest when I cast my mind right back to the first time we met. I did make assumptions about how he got his job. And then they solidified when I took it upon myself to wrongly decide he was a Christmas perve. But nothing can get past the fact that he was rude about my job that very first day.
‘No, you started it,’ I insist. ‘Remember? How absolutely rude you were about my entire career on the day we first met?’
Callum shakes his head.
‘I do not remember that, Moss.’
‘What is up with people not remembering things today?’ I huff dramatically. ‘Here’s what happened. It was a Monday morning and Kat was introducing you, our new starter, to everyone in the office. You came in, all charming and divine, and by that point everyone else was putty in your hands already. I thought, great, he seems nice.’
‘I am nice.’
‘Not to me! You were awful! Here’s the thing, I overheard you in the kitchen saying my job was “frothy”, and that’s an exact quote because it’s been seared into my memory ever since. That’s right!’ I add, expecting him to look embarrassed because it turns out I caught him out.
Instead, Callum looks nonplussed.
‘Have you any idea how hard I worked to get where I am today?’ I carry on. ‘How much it stung to hear the new guy being so critical like that?’
Callum frowns.
‘That’s very much not what happened, Moss.’
I laugh crossly. ‘Oh please, I’d love to hear your made-up excuses.’
Callum rolls his head from side to side like he’s trying to undo a knot in his neck.
‘Okay, first day in the office, let’s see,’ he says. ‘I came round, introduced myself, so far so good. Then Jan took me into the kitchen to show me the coffee machine. It was her turn to make the drinks, she said, and I remember that because she asked you if you wanted your usual and you said yes please. The moment I saw you I felt staggered because you were, you are …’ He leaves the sentence unfinished and I would publish my teenage diaries to hear him finish it. ‘So in the kitchen I asked what your usual was, and she told me you liked a cappuccino.’
‘That is my usual, yes.’
‘Jan was whizzing up milk in the milk frother. She was about to make me one too, so I explained to her that I have a milk allergy and can’t take “the frothy stuff”.’
I stare at Callum.
‘Is it possible, Moss, that you overheard me using your name and the word “frothy” and, dare I say it, jumped to the wrong conclusions?’
‘That can’t be right,’ I waver.
