Classic Callum.
I abandon Harrods and head for Accessorize, deciding that my own finances could stretch to a new pair of sunglasses. I hitch my carry-on further up my shoulder and as I stride across the shopping court, I daydream about a trip to Cottesloe Beach, which extensive googling told me is one of the best beaches in Perth.
In the daydream, I’m wearing new sunglasses, my feet planted in white sands. The sea breeze ruffles my hair. Maybe there’s a cocktail in my hand. Then Callum Bang’s irritating visage is coming towards me on the beach and I have to immediately abandon scene. How dare he encroach on my daydreams like that!
For distraction, I decide to FaceTime my best friend, flatmateand favourite human on the planet, Penny. She’ll have just hit snooze on her alarm so let’s hope she’s not mad at me.
‘Nina,’ Penny answers, bleary-eyed. ‘Are you pissed on free plane wine yet?’
‘Give me time,’ I grin. ‘I’ve not boarded.’
‘Wah, I can’t believe you’re going away for a whole week. I’m going to miss you.’
‘I’ll miss you too,’ I say, pulling a face. ‘Will you be okay?’
‘Probably,’ she shrugs. ‘Thanks again for filling the fridge before you left. You are the best.’
‘My pleasure. I like to think that you won’t be surviving on homemade sauerkraut and vodka while I’m away.’
‘I think that sauerkraut’s gone off so it would have just been vodka,’ Penny says, peering into her phone screen. ‘Jesus wept, Nina, you look fit. Are you using a new shampoo?’
‘Oh my God, thank you! I decided to leave my hair to air-dry, forgetting that I’d be immediately getting on the Tube, so the musty underground breeze did most of the drying for me. I believe it’s worked?’
‘Ew,’ Penny wrinkles her nose. ‘Next time, please borrow my Dyson.’
‘You just said it looks good!’ I laugh, migrating towards a rack of sunglasses.
‘Until I knew its origin story. Using stale Tube wind as your hairdryer is not chic.’
‘Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s the Piccadilly Line.’
Penny snorts. ‘Glow up on the Underground. On second thoughts, we could market that.’
‘See!’ I say. ‘Who needs expensive haircare products?’
‘Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Seriously though, you should wear it down more often. You look like a sexy lion.’
‘Erm, thanks?’ I chuckle. I have mad amounts of curly red hair which has been described variously as ‘like the sunset’, ‘unruly’ and ‘Titian’. As I catch the thumbnail of my image on my phone,even I have to admit that it does look cute today. Hair, as they say, is hairing.
‘Shame about your face,’ Penny adds with a yawn.
Way to come back down to earth with a bump.
‘Hey! What do you mean?’
‘You look pissed off. What’s up?’
‘Oh. Well,’ I say with a giant exhale. ‘You know Callum Bang?’
‘The beautiful bellend from your office who we hate? Of course I do.’
‘I’ve just found out that he’s coming on this trip.’
Penny’s face falls as she sits up in bed. ‘Oh love, no. Why?’
‘Kat wants us to become “sympatico” and “collaborate”.’ I wince.
Penny lets out a low, contemplative whistle. ‘So what are you going to do about it?’
