‘The bit where Annie takes two of Helen’s pills and a glass of Scotch because she’s a nervous flyer and then basically disgraces herself?’ I chuckle as the scene replays in my mind.
Callum nods.
‘So, you’re planning to go fullBridesmaidson the flight back?’ I ask. ‘That’s something I will need to see.’
‘Help me, I’m poor.’ Callum delivers thisBridesmaidsquote in such an understated, unexpected way that I find myself properly laughing now. Damn it. I was not expecting to find this man amusing. We catch each other’s eye, and the briefest moment passes between us. A flash of both understanding and confusion as it dawns on the two of us that we’re enjoying communicating with our ultimate adversary.
‘So,’ I say hesitantly. ‘Neither of us can sleep. There are stillseveral hours until we land in Singapore. How are we going to pass the time?’
‘Wanna do some work?’ Callum offers.
‘Could do, I guess. Though the whole week has already been extensively planned out, by me, so there’s not masses for you to do.’
‘Is that your not-so-subtle way of suggesting you’ve done all the work on this one?’
‘If the cap fits.’ I shrug.
‘Wow. And there I was thinking we’d reached an entente cordiale.’
‘Entente cordial,’ I scoff. ‘You’re so annoying.’
‘Will you two please stop bickering?’
Eyes wide, Callum and I both turn to see that the sash-wearing divorcee behind us is now awake and wagging a finger at us.
‘Seriously, just go and bang already, I’m sure it will clear the air.’
My mouth is agape and I daren’t even look at Callum, but from the corner of my vision I see him shrink back into his seat and snap his eyes shut.
‘Oh, we’re not …’ I begin, peering through the gap between our seats.
‘Sure,’ she says, looking anything but. ‘I’m Jennifer, by the way.’
‘Nina.’
‘Nice to meet you, Nana.’
‘Oh no, it’s Nina,’ I correct.
‘So, Nana, if you’re not banging then what’s happening there?’ She motions between Callum and me. I watch as Callum slips his earphones back in and sinks further down his seat, the coward! I guess I’ll be chatting with Jennifer, then. At least she seems like a nice human being.
‘Oh, just colleagues.’ I say.
‘That’s not the vibe I got. Although I’m probably not the best judge, given that I’ve just got divorced.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I say.
‘Don’t be!’ she laughs. ‘Honestly the best thing I could havedone. My ex-husband was the worst. Not when we first met, but somewhere along the way he became this totally boring cliché. He got into golf, for God’s sake! Hours and hours on the course, hitting a ball with a stick. And to make matters infinitely worse, golf is all he wanted to talk about. Our holidays were at golf resorts. A Rory McIlroy-signed golf ball took pride of place in our hallway, in front of the family photos. Do you have any idea how infinitely boring golf is, Nana?’
‘Not really. I can’t say I’ve watched much.’
‘Don’t.’
I nod through the gap.
‘Anyway, he’s gone and I am thrilled. That’s why me and the girls are off to Australia to celebrate. I will be spending my divorce money on beautiful hotels and the best champagne and absolutely zero golf chat.’
‘In that case, congratulations! I have it on good authority that the Australian men are extremely sexy in a hairy way?’
