I push my plate back and look around the table. Mila, Ben and Holly are roaring with laughter. Every single one of them has a mile-wide smile and it takes seconds for mine to spread across my face.
‘I know! I think I might have written him a poem in French?’
‘ChèrePierre, je t’adore. . .’ they all start to recite and I sit back in my chair, soaking up their presence. After almost a decade apart, Holly has fit right back into our group and it feels so good.
‘She’s coming back,’ I say to Ben as I spot his girlfriend coming out of the loos.
‘Do I look okay? Have I got food in my teeth? And what the fuck has happened to me?’ he asks.
‘Yes. No. And you’re smitten,’ I reply.
Once I’d gotten over the shock that Ben was falling for the girl he met at the bar that time Mila tried to knock our heads together, I realised that Anita is actually perfect for him. She’s completely unphased by his shagger past, has the kind of killer confidence that lets her fit right in with his funny little group of female-only friends, and doesn’t let him eat all the food from her plate as well as his own. Anita is a keeper.
‘It’s been so nice to get to know you, thanks for inviting me to lunch,’ she’s saying now.
‘Anita, it’s been a pleasure,’ Mila says. ‘I don’t want to sound cliquey but basically, we all like you. Shall we swap numbers? If Ben does any tiny thing to upset you, let me know and I’ll have a word.’
Ben looks terrified.
‘Thanks,’ laughs Anita. ‘And let’s definitely swap numbers. Though, I was thinking we could maybe carry on hanging out? I know we just ate pudding but I could murder an ice cream. Does anyone fancy a walk along the river and then maybe a few drinks this afternoon?’
Ben looks like he’s about to propose. Holly and Mila both sign up for the plan. They turn to me.
‘Ithink I’ll pass,’ I say.
‘Did you not hear the bit about ice cream and then a bar?’ Mila’s confused.
‘I did. I also just spent lunch soaking up Ben and Anita’s beautiful new romance. You guys are so happy together and. . . I don’t know. I thought, maybe. . . I just have to go and do something, okay?’
My three best friends exchange looks. Mila looks triumphant.
‘Get it, girl,’ she grins.
I take a cursory look in the mirror and am pleased to report that there’s no food on my face. Thereisa bit of salad dressing on my sapphire blue jumpsuit but then when isn’t there some kind of spillage about my person? I might be bringing the sass these days but I’m still me.
I knock on the door and scan my work emails while I wait. It’s the weekend but I’m still so new at freelancing that I can’t really switch off and if there’s a spare minute, I’m hunting for new work opportunities. There are three new emails in my inbox but the door opens before I have a chance to read them.
And there he is.
‘Hi?’ He looks surprised to see me.
‘Hi,’ I bite my lip. I really haven’t thought this through. Back in the day, I’d practise a speech for 631 hours and then massively cock it up anyway. I guess now I’m just going to have to freestyle. ‘HI. Here I am.’
‘Here you are,’ he says, amused. He’s not opening the door.
I clear my throat.
‘So lately I’ve been wondering if you and I might actually. . .’
‘Goon,’ he folds his arms and leans against the door frame.
‘Lately I’ve been thinking that perhaps you are. . .’
‘I am. . .’
Right, for goodness sake justsay it.
‘I thought we might have something.’
