‘I’m still a hot egg, though.’
‘Huh?’
‘You told me I was hot last night! Or is it too soon to be making jokes about that?’
‘You are hot, Jas, it’s just. . .’
‘Notyourhot. I get it. Do you think that’s why we got confused about our feelings. . . Because we started to look at each other in a different light?’
‘I guess we’re both searching for the same thing, ultimately.’
‘You’ll make someone very happy Ben, she is out there for you.’
‘Thanks. And likewise.’ Ben picks up a too-hot croissant and drops it again. Then he sits down and stretches an arm around me. ‘Are we okay?’
I snuggle into his hug. This feels familiar. This feels right.
‘I think we’re better than okay. I think we’re back on track. I love you Ben, as a friend.’
‘Me too kiddo. Now tell me how your dating mission’s going.’
‘Well, technically I am on my seventh and final date right now but I’m going to scratch it from the records and chalk you up as a blip.’
Ben pretends to look offended.
‘I am officially meant to be finding new boys to date, not old mates, so I don’t think this counts. And I might not have found The One yet, but I’ve had more fun this summer than I have in ages. I guess Mila was right, I did need to ditch my old type.’
‘Yeah, you were kind of stuck in your ways but you had your reasons. How are you feeling aboutthatnow?’ Ben gives me a loaded look.
‘Do you mean Dad? Or Holly?’
‘Both.’
It’snot even 10am and I still smell like last night’s shots. This kind of conversation would have had me running for the hills just a few short months ago. But not now. I feel. . . a bit more sure of myself? Or maybe a bit less angry about the past? I can’t quite put my finger on it. Because even though I spent last night snogging my best mate in an underage bar, I feel stronger in myself than I have in a long time. And now Ben’s reminded me that I’ve got some other stuff to deal with.
I pull out my phone. It’s finally time to reply tothatemail.
From:Me
Subject:Re: hello
Holly, hi
I’m sorry it’s taken me a while to reply. I was so surprised to hear from you and it’s taken time to think it all over. I would like to meet up too, do you want to message me some dates? My number is in my sign off.
Take care, Jas
