‘I’ve been wondering if there’s something more between Ben and I than just friendship,’ I blurt out super-fast.
There’s silence. Mum and Mila are exchanging looks. I blow on my hot tea and wonder whether I should run up to my old bedroom and lock myself in like the old days.
Eventually Mum clears her throat. ‘Has something happened?’
I explain all about the awkward moments at Ben’s, the weird fizz when our fingers touched and his apparent annoyance at the boys I’ve been dating. ‘But falling for your best friend is a huge cliché, right? I’m probably overthinking things.’
Mila drums her fingers on the table while she thinks. ‘Interesting. There’s no doubt that Ben is awesome and he’ll make someone super happy when he’s ready for a relationship. And the thought that you two might make a good match did cross my mind when Ben was hinting about wanting to settle down when we had breakfast in the park the other day. What do you think Linda?’
‘The important thing to figure out is how he makes you feel, Jazzy. Do you get butterflies when you’re together? Does he make you feel special, like date three with Alessandro? Or listened to, like Ralph on date four? Or is it purely a friend-thing that you’ve briefly confused for something else, like lovely Arnie from date number two?’
Mumreally has absorbed a lot of information about my latest dates.
‘That’s the problem Mum, I just can’t put my finger on it. Am I looking too hard and getting confused? Or would I be stupid not to look into this further? It’s giving me brain fry.’
‘You know what you need, babes?’ Mila looks quite pleased with herself.
‘A psychic?’
‘A BREAK,’ she replies.
Mum nods furiously. ‘Gosh, it’s funny you should mention that Mila, because I have just the thing in mind.’ Why do I feel like they’ve been in cahoots behind my back? ‘You need some space to think and some time to gain perspective. Take a little trip. Get out of London. Give yourself a chance to have some fun further afield.’
‘That does sound nice,’ I admit. ‘There’s just one small catch. I have zero pounds and all my friends are in this room, bar the one I can’t figure out my feelings for.’
‘I just happen to know a lovely young gentleman called Charlie who lives in Edinburgh. . .’
OhIsee.
‘Mum, going to Scotland on a date with your sort-of nephew is not going to help me clear my head! Mila, help me out. . .’
‘Babes, Linda is right.’
My mouth drops. Mila is such a traitor.
‘Don’t look at me like that! This is the perfect opportunity to let your thoughts on Ben settle. Who knows, Charlie might turn out to be the love of your life. Or you might just have yourself a really fun time and come back with a better grip on things.’
I stick my bottom lip out.
Milafolds her arms and waves a salt and vinegar Disco at me menacingly. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, have you already come up with a fabulous plan for date number five? Because as far as I can see, you have no more dates in the pipeline. This is literally the perfect opportunity. A fifth date means you’re getting ever closer to number seven just like the article said – ‘Seven Dates To Find The One’ – and this trip will give you some distance to figure things out. Both your mother and I think it will really help.’
‘“Your mother and I”,’ I huff. ‘You’re not my dad.’
‘Stop being childish or I’ll send you to your room.’
