‘Will there?’ I ask, sounding a bit nasal because of all the snot. ‘Because I’ve been working for Violet foryearsand this is the first thing that’s come my way.’
‘Have you actually applied for other jobs, then?’ Ben asks.
‘Well. . . no.’
‘And this gig with the knitwear brand came about because someone liked your work and approached you about it, right?’
‘Right.’
‘That in itself is pretty awesome, I think. It’s a bit like you were head-hunted.’
I smile at big, bearish Ben through watery eyes.
‘It’s sweet of you for trying to cheer me up.’
‘I’m just pointing out the facts,’ Ben replies, gulping down his tea. ‘And if I was trying to cheer you up, I’d probably tell you that another offer will come along soon, but I actually don’t think it will.’
I stare up at him, a little dribble of tea still trickling down my chin.
‘Wow, thanks. Am I doomed to work as Violet’s unnamed photographer for the rest of my days?’
‘Notif you start creating your own opportunities.’
‘How do I do that?’
‘Mate, I’m not the photographer and I don’t know shit about photography, but you’ve made a great start already. Your website? It’s awesome. You just need to take it to the next level. Start getting out there! If you want a new job, why don’tyougo out and get it?’
‘I can’t suddenly magic some qualifications out of thin air, Ben,’ I grumble.
‘So you’ll have to prove yourself in what you can do. Let the photos speak for themselves! And what about getting some more experience? You’ve said yourself that you do the same thing, day in and day out, with Violet. Are there any photographers you could shadow for a couple of days?’
That’s actually a really good idea.
‘I think so,’ I reply, starting to feel a bit better about things.
‘Maybe Arnold could help out with SEO, too, just to make sure you’re being seen by the right people,’ Ben’s getting more enthused by the minute.
‘It’s Arnie,’ I reply.
Ben rolls his eyes. ‘Whatever. That idiot.’
‘He’s not an idiot. He’s actually really nice and he’s been very helpful.’
Ben grabs my empty mug and our fingers briefly touch, causing me to pull my hand away in surprise. He makes a low growling sound, looks absolutely horrified with himself and rushes out of the room, leaving me feeling super weird AGAIN.
What’s happening here? Ben’s had my back since forever and it’s not unusual for him to stick up for me. But this is the second time he’s got all huffy about my friendship with Arnie. I’m probably just overthinking things right now. You know, all over-sensitive becauseevery time I seem to be taking a step forward, I feel like I’m knocked two steps back. Only one of my four recent dates has been actually good. Thank goodness for Real Talk with Ralph. Meanwhile Violet’s sweet one minute and crazy mean the next. A super cool new work opportunity gets snatched from under my feet. Shitting Holly. When I end up back in my flat after a day at work with no love life, no career prospects and yet another text about my overdraft facility, it’s tough not to feel a bit miffed. And yet here I am, cosied up at Ben’s and feeling loved.
That last thought makes me splutter.
Ben makes me feel loved?
Ben makes me feel loved.
He’s kind and considerate and he seems to have taken against any of the men I’ve dated recently. Suddenly I’m diving down a big fat rabbit hole. Has the love of my life been under my nose this whole time? You read about it in books, right? The girl with the crap love life who suddenly discovers that her perfect match is her best friend. Shitting hell.
AM I THAT GIRL?
No,youshut up.
