and bound round to her side of the table, engulfing her in a hug. She’s so cute and petite that her head nestles on top of my boobs. ‘This calls for prosecco.’
‘Yes it does! It all feels very grown up.’
‘Itisvery grown up Mils. Moving in with a boy. Well, notaboy. The boy. You two are proper loved up. I’m in awe at how sussed and sorted you are.’
Mila bunches up her beautiful face for a moment. ‘I wouldn’t put it quite like that, but I am really happy about it. Mike and I have been together for almost two years now and it definitely seems like the right time. Anyway, tell me more about the Vomit thing.’
‘What? No! I need to hear how Mike asked you to move in. Did he give you a key? Was it wrapped up in a box? Did the box have a balloon on it? Were there doves involved?’
Mila snorts. ‘I love that you assume my life is like a rom com. There were no boxes, balloons or doves because I’m not actually living in a Disney movie. We were in the supermarket trying to remember what ingredients you need for a moussaka when Mike handed me some minced lamb and said, “Shall we move in together?”’
Huh. Mila’s right, it’s not quite the romantic scene I’d pictured. Though cooking a moussaka with the love of your life sounds pretty dreamy, too.
‘Now tell me about Violet!’
Ican’t shake the feeling that she doesn’t really want to dwell on her exciting news but I’m also too scared to argue back.
‘Mils, that’s amazing. Congratulations,’ I give her hand a squeeze. ‘As for Violet, she was being quite nice and helpful for a good few minutes this morning and she gave me a bag full of her rejected gifts which are actually decent.’ I motion at my new top and the gold moon charm necklace as evidence.
‘What she said was inexcusable.’
‘Do you think?’ I ask, examining my necklace.
Mila slams her prosecco down on the table.
‘Jazzy, she was so rude!’
‘And maybe kind of right? I’ve been thinking about it. I am a bit disastrous.’
‘What Vomit said was COMPLETE WANK,’ Mila’s outraged. ‘She was jealous of your date with Alessandro, that’s all. Besides, you’re not disastrous. It’s not like you haven’t met guys with potential in the past. I think you’re too scared to let a good guy get close to you, so you go hunting for some ridiculous reason why he’s not right.’
‘Really?’
‘And the men you did date were jerks,’ adds Mila. ‘It’s like you were deliberately sabotaging your love life.’
I fiddle with the necklace. ‘Surely my brain doesn’t make me lust after fuck boys?’
‘I think that after what happened with your mum, you’ve been hell bent on choosing the right guy. I know you can’t face the idea that you’d have to go through what she went through. Because of that you’ve spent so much time and energy trying to find the perfect guy that you failed to notice you’re going for the exact wrong type. It’s like you’re subconsciously willing history to repeat itself.’
Westare at each other for a bit.
‘Mate, did you read some brainy books while you were away?’
‘Ha,’ she laughs. ‘It doesn’t matter because all of that is in the past now we’re hunting for your new type on paper. Any news to report? Have you lined up date number four yet?’
Shit.
Now’s the perfect time to tell her about my Hot Tom regression.
Now.
Maybe. . . now?
Or maybe. . . ‘Look at this on the drinks menu, a sriracha margarita! Have you tried one of those before? Will it be too spicy? Shall we get one?’
‘OF COURSE we should get one, now stop trying to distract me. What are you hiding? Wait a minute. . . you’ve had sex!’ Mila booms. BOOMS. So far tonight she has bellowed the phrasescomplete wankandyou’ve had sexinto this busy restaurant. Oblivious to the stares, Mila is now loudly wondering who it could be that I’ve hooked up with.
‘DID YOU HAVE SEX WITH THE KING OF ITALY?’
