‘I can wait until you’ve closed. I assume you’ll be locking up?’ Zach’s family run this bar. He’s actually a rugby player (SO mytypeformer type) but he likes to keep a hand in with the family business.
‘Tonight?I was actually going to. . .’ his eyes flicker towards a stunning woman at the opposite corner.
Of course he was. Urgh. I’m not sure my heart can cope with this. But in the spirit of being brave, I raise my eyebrows expectantly.
‘Never mind. I can see her another night. We should start to empty by midnight if you don’t mind holding out? I’ll get some bar snacks for you.’
I stifle a yawn as Zach finally coaxes the last of the revellers out and says goodnight to the rest of the staff.
‘Grab a seat,’ he waves towards a table and picks up the empties. ‘Same again?’ But he doesn’t wait for me to reply and comes back over with two sparkling waters in his hand.
I pull up a chair, my heart pounding. Zach’s done that thing where he’s sat down with the chair backwards, so the back rest is between his legs, and I’m trying hard not to let my mind wander back to when I was in the back rest’s position. Because I’m not here for the sexy memories. I’m here for answers and maybe a little bit of my new apparent trait, sexy anger.
‘You went dead on me,’ I begin. ‘Except you weren’t actually dead because Ben always has the rugby on and I saw you on the telly, like, three times.’
Zach fidgets uncomfortably.
‘So. . .’ I press. ‘What happened?’
He clears his throat. He eats a wasabi pea. He takes a sip of water.
‘You’re looking good,’ he finally says.
‘I’ve been in Cannes with Violet. It was crazy busy but I did get about seven minutes of sun on my face, so I reckon I’ll have a badass tan when I wake up tomorrow.’ Stopwaffling! I clear my throat. ‘Listen, it’s been a long few days and I’ve been waiting here for hours to talk to you now. Make that months, actually. I’ve been waitingmonthsfor you to have the decency to explain yourself.’ I rub my temples, a headache beginning to twitch. ‘I thought things between us were going well. We had fun, I’d got that trip planned, and then you just dropped me like a hot cake. Or is it hot potato? Whatever, you dropped me like something really hot. So please, don’t try and throw me off with some crap compliments. It’s about time you grew some balls and talked to me honestly.’
Zach looks surprised by my directness and I feel the same, tbh. Spurred on, I frown at him (sexily).
‘Okay. The thing is, you got too much for me Jas. Like you said, we were having fun, and then suddenly you were talking about going on holiday and shit?’
‘When you say “going on holiday and shit” do you mean going on holiday like normal couples do?’
‘Well, yeah, I suppose,’ he pinches the top of his nose. ‘It just felt too intense for me. Too much, too soon. Like you were putting a lot of pressure on me.’
‘Too much pressure?’
‘Yes,’ he says, way too emphatically. ‘If ever I did something that didn’t match up to your exact ideals, I felt like I was in trouble or I’d let you down.’
I pause to think about this. Zach *might* have a point. I am quite exacting when it comes to boyfriends. I guess it’s just because I don’t want to get hurt? I’m about to say this to Zach but his eyes have glazed over and I sense that I’ve already lost his full attention.
‘Aren’t you drinking that?’ he asks.
‘Nope.You didn’t actually wait for me to reply when you offered another drink anyway, and I must have had two pints of water already tonight. I really don’t want to be busting for the loo on the journey home.’
‘Gross,’ he wrinkles up his face.
‘What’s gross, the idea that I might need the toilet?’
‘Girls shouldn’t talk about that sort of thing.’
‘Zach, what the fuck? Girls shouldn’t talk about normal bodily functions? What a load of bollocks. Oh, and by the way, I think you meanwomen. You were the boy in this relationship and guess what, it looks like you still are. Look, I appreciate you being honest with me tonight. I’ve realised that you behaved like a wanker because you are, in fact, a bit of a wanker. And while there’s obviously some stuff that I need to work on too, which I’m grateful to you for pointing out, at the end of the dayyoutreatedmebadly. That’s on you, not me. And now I can go home, eat my Quavers and take this goddam bra off.’
I watch Zach’s mouth fall further open as I stand up and walk out of his life on my terms this time.
