My vision got blurry when tears accumulated in my eyes. “I do. Even if I don’t agree with his opinion, I trust he won’t tell me anything wrong. I kept the news close because we planned to have this big reveal, but Neptune told his family. I knew I needed to tell mine.”
Yari looked pleased. “Thank God! I was worried you hadn’t told your daddy.”
“I haven’t. When I said family, I was talking about you and Nola.”
“Girl, when are you going to tell yourdaddy?”
“Soon. He isn’t worried about me. He’s been in and out of town for months.”
“So you believe it’s okay for him to be in the blind about your pregnancy? You better watch yourself. Junior told my brother you’re dating Neptune, so I’m sure your daddy knows.”
I reached for a saucer like Yari was talking about something I should be concerned with.
“How far along are you? What are we having?” Nola fired off more questions.
My cousin laced me with a pointed glare. “The real question is, when are you going to tell your daddy?’
“Damn! One question at a time. I turned seventeen weeks today. I don’t know what we’re having. Neptune doesn’t want to know, and I’m indecisive. Our doctor has the gender on standby in case I change my mind.” I glared at Yari. “Believe it or not, I’ve tried calling your favorite uncle a few times, but he didn’t pick up. I can’t say I’m surprised, but I’m not eager to incite drama. My pregnancy ishigh risk. I can’t lose my baby chasing behind my father.”
Always thinking of me, Nola asked how I felt about my pregnancy.
“I’m happy. Scared, but happy.”
“What are you scared of? The moment you said the wordpregnant,I started ordering baby stuff. My god baby will be straight.”
“I’m sure you have a cart full of baby Burberry ready to ship.” A sigh slumped my shoulders. “I’m afraid I won’t know how tobe a mom. Neptune and I are both motherless kids.MaybeI can borrow Ms. Mosby from the nursing home.”
“Hm. No. We’re done with kidnapping people,” Yari joked. “Your feelings are valid. No one can replace your mama. I also know what type of person you are. The time you had with your mama was enough to make you into the beautiful, smart, kind person you are today. If you pour into yourbabythe way your mama poured into you, you don’t have a thing to worry about.”
I hadn’t beento The Sinner’s Spot since my fight, and as soon as I walked in, I regretted not staying in the car. As niceas itwas, the place held memories ofmeshowing my ass and pissing Neptune off more than I ever had.
“Do you want to come with me upstairs?”
“Nope. I’ll be at the slot machine until you’re done.”
Neptune dug in his pocket and handed me a handful of change. “Don’t spend it all in one place.”
“Why not? You’ll give me more if I need it.”
He yanked me to him by the collar of my blue Ralph Lauren polo dress. Since my pregnancywas confirmed, I had been wearing blue a lot, trying to manifest my baby boy. Next to being nervous about motherhood, I was worried about what having a little girl would mean. We were on our way to meet Easy and his girlfriend for a double date, but one of Neptune’s cousins asked him to help with something at the casino. The room was quiet, no one in the popular spot except for a bartender and a few security guards.
I got comfortable at the only slot machine in the building and played a few games. When I heard a heavy steel door close, I peered over my shoulder. The sight of Levi and his father mademe swallow hard. They shared a menacing look that triggered me to grip the handle of the gun in my purse.
“Oh, shit. You gon’ shoot me now?” Levi chuckled.
“I’ll do more than that if you keep trying to press me. You don’t know me to have an issue.”
His father looked me upanddown like he wanted to swing. “I know enough, especially if you’re anything like your grimy-ass daddy.”
“My daddy isn’t hard to find. If you’re still pissed about some beef that started before I was born, talk to him about it.”
Levi reached in my direction, and I smacked his hand away with my bag.
“Don’t touch me. Are you trying to give my baby bad luck?”
“I can’t touch you? Weren’t you looking for me?” He stretched his arms wide. “I’m here now. That could’ve been my baby if you paid attention to details.”
His father grimaced. “Over my dead body. No grandbaby of mine could ever share the blood of a personI don’t fuck with.” He smiled. “It’s too late to fix this and find a clinic.”
