A humorous thought popped into my brain. Ronnie didn’t want to pay for camp, would he want to pay forthecamp? I’dfigured out how to get the kids into a camp. Now I needed to figure out a way to finance my share.
“Money’s always an issue. But we’re resourceful people, we’ll figure something out. Are you as excited about the possibility as I am?” I asked.
“Indubitably.”
He drew me into him, and we kissed for a long time. He was such a fabulous kisser, focused and passionate. It made me think of Rhett’s line to Scarlett, “You need to be kissed often and by someone who knows how.” Teddy totally knew how, and our plan would have us kissing for years.
Back in my room, lying in my sagging bed, my head was filled with Teddy and Woodlands. I pictured us holding hands, walking the grounds together. Encouraging, inspiring, and participating in activities with the campers, mentoring and collaborating with the counselors. Then, each night after a long but satisfying day, falling into bed together.
My euphoria burst when I remembered that even though I was separated, I was still married with two children who loved their dad and had no idea that their parents’ marriage was in jeopardy.
Sex. I’d spent the last few weeks making love to another man. How cavalier I’d been, reveling in the arms of someone who wasn’t my husband. Even though Ronnie and I had agreed to a separation, I never could’ve imagined starting a relationship.
Being at camp was like living in a bubble—no outside interference, no news of the world. All conversations were centered around camp. Was it because I was so immersed in the Woodlands culture that I got carried away and acted on the attraction I had for Teddy?
What if Ronnie found out? Yes, Ronnie had been a jerk, but he didn’t deserve to have his wife cheat on him even if we were estranged. Would it even be considered cheating? I didn’t know—it wasn’t something I had ever thought about. I was in uncharted territory.
What I did know was Ronnie loved his family—he just hadn’t made me, Zelda, or Hazel his priority for a long time. That didn’t necessarily make him a bad person . . . maybe just a misguided one.
I took a pillow and squeezed it into my stomach, trying to quell the turmoil I felt. I had a niggling suspicion that Ronnie was having a dalliance of his own. There was something a little too familiar about his relationship with Jana. Could I possibly be inventing this scenario to alleviate my conscience? If it were true, would I be upset? Would we call it even and move on as a couple, or would we end our marriage, preferring our lovers?
My relationship with Teddy made clear what was missing between Ronnie and me. Teddy treated me as his equal and partner. Even with counseling, would I be able to put my marriage back on track? Did I even want to? If we didn’t share two daughters, I would walk away.
32Lost
Iwas kayaking between water activities, watching the Cubs who were kayaking with me, sailing, or waterskiing. When the period was over, Mindy offered me a ride in her golf cart. I preferred to walk, but I was in a wet bathing suit and wanted to change before the next activity. She’d just dropped me off when my radio crackled, “We have a lost swimmer. Lexi Silver’s division has left the waterfront, and her card’s still here. We have a lost swimmer.” I recognized Mike’s voice.
“Mike, this is Lori. Lexi’s my camper. I just saw her walking up from swim with her group. She’s fine.”
“I cannot call off a lost swimmer search until I see Lexi Silver standing in front of me.”
Crap. I ran toward Mindy’s cabin and jumped in her golf cart. Thankfully, the keys were in the ignition. I threw it in reverse, almost falling out when I bumped a tree stump the size of a small dog. Maneuvering backwards I called out, “I’m borrowing your golf cart.”
I reached Lexi’s cabin as she stepped onto the porch.
“Hey, Lexi, jump in here with me.”
“Why?”
“You didn’t return your swim card, and all the lifeguards are searching for you.”
“Can’t you tell them I’m with you?”
“I did but they need to see you in person. Hold on tight.” I floored it.
I sped down the hill. When we hit the straightaway, I radioed Mike, “Lexi is almost there.”
“Good, my lifeguards are exhausted.”
Lexi asked, “Why are they exhausted?”
“They’ve been searching for you underwater.”
“They think I drowned?”
“Yes.”
Lexi burst into tears.
