“If you don’t mind me asking, what’re your goals?”
“There are the corny ones, you know, like personal growth. But the others are all camper related. Mostly I want to encourage campers to come back to work when they’re eighteen.”
“Self-actualization—that’s a very evolved ambition for a grown man who wears shorts and Tevas for a living,” I said.
Bob’s eyebrows arched. “I give you an honest answer and you mock me.”
“Actually, I’m really impressed. You’re making me feel a bit shallow. I have only one goal, and that’s to make it out of here alive,” I said.
“Aren’t you being a bit melodramatic? I’ve been here for two decades and Bob for over ten years, and we’ve never come close to any life-or-death experiences,” Teddy said.
“Well, I’ve been here for a little over three weeks, and I’ve already come face-to-face with a bear and an irate camp director, so you gentlemen are not reassuring me,” I said.
“Touché,” Teddy said.
Mindy joined us and handed me another cocktail. I was buzzed, and for the first time all day, I felt no pain.
“I’m so jealous that you had the entire day to yourself. What did you end up doing?” I asked her.
“Forget about my day—I heard Zelda got her period today. Mazel Tov!”
Teddy and Bob backed away from our conversation.
I felt the tears welling up in my eyes once again. “I know it’s silly, but I can’t seem to stop crying.”
“For what it’s worth, I think that’s a natural reaction. The end of your daughter’s childhood and all of that. I think it’s really sweet.”
“Thanks, I appreciate that. I’m going to head out before I become a blubbering mess again.”
In bed I took a deep breath and felt a little bit better, acknowledging and understanding why I cried so much, mourning the loss of the two women whom I had loved most in the world, my mother and my grandmother. I hoped that this would be a transforming summer for my daughters, molding them into the strong, smart, resourceful women they were named for. I thought my mother and grandmother would be pleased to know that they were my role models.
20Reading by Flashlight
Isaw Mindy getting ready for our afternoon kayaking. She was zipping up a life vest when Mike, under the pretense of assisting her, trapped her against a tree. I called out to him the way you would to distract a dog.
“Hey, Mike, over here, you’re just the person I was looking for.”
He spun around and gave me a lewd smile.
“What did you have in mind?” His arms were akimbo—his Speedo was camouflage—making sure I got a full-frontal view of hischarms.
I obviously hadn’t thought this through. Mike would probably misinterpret the gift I bought him and double down on his flirtations. I hesitated for a moment but decided to give it to him anyway. “I brought you a present.”
I handed him the bag.
“Such a tiny bag. Lori, did you buy me a Speedo?” He winked.
I didn’t want to laugh, but I couldn’t help myself. “No, seems you have an endless supply. This is something I’m pretty sure you don’t have.”
He pulled outWe’re Going on a Bear Hunt.
“I was scared but you weren’t, and I will always be grateful for that.”
It took a second, but then he smiled, an honest, sincere smile. “Thank you. It’s nice to be appreciated.”
The moment was awkward, but before I could back away, he pulled me in for a bear hug, which under the circumstances seemed appropriate.
Teddy bent to light my cigarette with the precision of an athlete.
