I pushed the reality of having to leave Teddy to the back of my mind. I wanted to be present for my campers and counselors.
I had walked this path several times a day, either briskly in the early morning or later in the day with my bunks at a more leisurely pace. Tonight felt different. It was mesmerizing, watching the girls slowly amble down the pathway. Faces in shadows, the six-foot-tall reeds snapping on either side, frogs croaking, crickets singing, and the murmurs of the campers formed a melodic ambience. I was swept up by the surge of energy in the air and felt like I was in the only place in the world that mattered.
I caught up to the front of my bunks so I could walk with Abby who was at the rear of her group alongside Maggie. I wanted to experience the last night of camp with them.
“Have you ever been struck by a moment you know will stay with you for the rest of your life, and you’ll see things differently because of it?” I asked.
They agreed and we linked arms.
“I love that we got to share it together. I consider our friendship the silver lining around all the chaos we lived through. Without the two of you, I’d never have made it till tonight.”
“We were just saying the same about you. Like we’ve known you forever,” Maggie said.
By the time the Cubs rounded the bend, the lake was ablaze with candles floating in the inky blackness of the water. The big dipper sparkled clearly in the night sky—it seemed as if we were enveloped by light from above and below. I stopped in my tracks, amazed at what I saw and how I felt. As if I’d stepped into a place of worship. Suddenly, the sand I’d walked on all summer grounded me in a way that felt spiritual, ethereal.
I stepped aside, making sure that I saw the Cubs’—my campers’—reactions when they got a glimpse of the spectacle onthe lake. I saw the shimmering lights reflected in their eyes, and each girl, including the counselors, looked enthralled.
Soft singing off to my right added to the aura. Their sweet voices deepened the feeling that this evening was enchanted.
Bethany and Mindy made sure all the candles were lit and each Cub held a tiny flame in their hands.
Bethany told them, “Don’t forget to make a wish before you send your candle into the water.”
The girls bent down to release their desires along with the others already melting into the night.
Standing with Mindy and Gilda, Bethany asked the DLs to form a circle. “I want to say something now that we’re all together on this last night of camp. Thank you for all your hard work this summer. I know it wasn’t always easy, but I want you to know that I truly appreciate each one of you.” Bethany looked us in the eye. “Let’s float our candles together in the name of friendship.”
At that moment I felt so much love for Bethany and these other women who’d stood by me all summer. I wanted to personally thank each one for getting me through these intensely wacky months. My thoughts were about to gush out of my mouth when Mindy said, “Bethany, I swear, sometimes you’re such a sentimental fool.”
The other ladies snickered but my feelings aligned with Bethany’s. I gave her a one-armed hug, making sure not to singe her hair, and whispered, “Thank you for your leadership and guidance, but more importantly for your friendship and telling me it would be a mistake to leave camp.”
Tears streamed down Bethany’s face. “Thank you for keeping my family whole and for picking up the slack.”
She took my hand and led us to the water’s edge. Abby, as always, was on my left. Bethany squatted and I was on my knees. We were ready to release our candles.
“I’m thanking the camp gods for letting me make it through one more summer intact.” Mindy floated her candle.
“I’m grateful for an entire summer of no housework, and for not having to pay two camp tuitions.” Gilda pushed hers into the lake.
Bethany, Abby, and Maggie let theirs float away in silence.
The aspirations I had for Zelda and Hazel had come to fruition. I’d watched them mature, becoming more resilient, more confident, but most importantly I knew that they’d look out for each other. Their love and respect for each other and for me was apparent.
I probably should wish for my marriage to be repaired, but there was no denying it, my desire for Teddy had blossomed into love. In Teddy speak, I was completely besotted.
Who had I become that I’d even consider walking away from a fifteen-year marriage for a man I’d known for two months? Was that personal growth or insanity? There was no one I could confide in at camp. I thought of telling Claire. If she was close enough to give me a vibrator then she was definitely close enough to confide in. But calling her wasn’t an option until I could answer the questions she would invariably ask such as, “What about your girls?” Plus, all our college friends adored Ronnie and thought we were the ideal couple. What a joke that was.
I released my candle into the lake as if it were a coin tossed into the Trevi Fountain, wishing to return next summer to continue the love story I shared with Teddy.
“Hey, ladies, get it together. Marilyn’s ready to burn the numbers. We need to head over,” Gilda said.
All of Girls Camp watched Marilyn as she touched the torch to the lighter fluid soaked rags that were arranged on a chain link fence in the shape of the numbers representing the year.
“This doesn’t look like it’s going to end well,” Maggie said.
Mindy pointed. “Over there, a little bit behind Marilyn, Mike’s got a fire extinguisher.”
Sure enough, Mike was ready as usual to save the day, wearing the equivalent of a Speedo for after-hours: crotch-hugging jeans, bare feet, and a camp hoodie with the zipper only a third of the way up his torso. No shirt.
