The walk helped. After a circuit or two of the town, he felt calmer and more focused. Before he could change his mind, he headed towards Willow’s cabin, prepared to fully apologize for his earlier behavior.
He wasn’t sure that she would be back there, but he had been walking for an hour or so and couldn’t imagine that Willow would stay in the company of Rachel and Greg for too long. They weren’t exactly being over friendly towards her and he hadn’t helped that.
He hoped she was here anyway. He needed to speak to her somewhere quiet. To explain properly. Not all this was Willow’s fault.
He approached Willow’s cabin with caution, his body tensing with anticipation and his skin suddenly beginning to prickle with sweat. It seemed odd to think of her here when for so long, she had lived at Martha’s house. It didn’t seem right that she would be in this tiny little home that had been the shabby hideout for an old loner. But Jenn had done a good job fixing it up. The outside was brightly painted and there were plant pots scattered around outside. Lucas realized he hadn’t been up here since she had renovated.
Time passed so quickly. In just the blink of an eye, so much had changed.
He saw that the windows were aglow with a soft, yellowing light. Someone was in. As he drew closer, he heard music playing. It was instantly familiar, some Sinatra number. ‘Somethin’ Stupid’ he thought it was called. He immediately thought of his mom who loved this particular one and a deep ache pulled inside him. He hesitated. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Maybe he was the last person she wanted to see (and he wouldn’t blame her). Maybe he just looked like a total creep turning up here, totally unannounced like this?
Nerves and uncertainty overtook him, and he paused. He should go back. This wasn’t the right time at all. Knowing him, he would only end up saying the wrong thing anyway. However, as he made to leave, the door suddenly flew open and out stepped Willow. She had changed into casual sweatpants and an oversized gray sweater. Her hair was loose and falling around her shoulders in gentle waves.
In that moment, caught in the soft light of the cabin, she looked more beautiful than ever. Like an angel. Lucas felt his breath catch.
And then she spoke. Her voice was harsh and strained and very un-angel like.
‘What the hell are you doing here?’
Lucas rocked back on his feet for a moment and then managed to regain control of himself. He managed a self-assured smile, something he had taught himself to do to show that he was calm, even when he wasn’t.
‘I was just passing. I wanted to make sure you were settled in OK.’
Willow crossed her arms over her body. ‘I heard noisesoutside. I was worried. How long had you been skulking out there?’
‘I wasn’t skulking anywhere. I came to check on you.’ He paused, feeling his walls close back around him. ‘And to apologize, although now I wonder if I should bother.’
Her chin lifted. ‘I wouldn’t want your apology if it wasn’t meant anyway. And you don’t need to check on me. I’m not a child. I’m fine.’
‘Really?’ He dared to broaden his smile. ‘You look a little freaked out.’
‘You think? Some strange man is hanging out in front of my cabin. The same man who insulted me a few hours ago.’
Some man? Wow. He breathed out. That was a low blow. She really didn’t think anything of him at all.
‘I don’t know why I’m bothering,’ he grumbled. ‘I thought you might appreciate me coming here. I didn’t have to.’
‘No, you didn’t.’ Her eyes shone in the fading light. ‘In fact, I wish you hadn’t, Lucas. I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but it’s not fair taking it out on me. I’m not here to cause problems. I only want to try something new. Is that so bad? Why do you hate me so much for that?’
Hate.
How could she even think that for a minute?
He stared at the ground. ‘No. Of course, it isn’t bad to try something new. I don’t mean to take anything out on you.’
Her expression softened. ‘I get that it’s tough, Lucas. So much has changed here. I can’t get used to not seeing your mom at The Diner and you know my grandma was like a mom to me too. We have both lost someone dear to us.’
He lifted his head. Willow’s gaze held his. Those large,warm eyes were so difficult to pull away from; it was as if they had magnetic strength. Lucas could feel the words build inside him. He was ready to tell her more. To say that it wasn’t just his mom that made him sad. Having Willow back was making him remember so many emotions that he had buried deep. Having Willow here was both frustrating and exciting – and somehow, he couldn’t work out which feeling was stronger.
Maybe it was time to be honest. To tell her how he had felt for so long, and how she had hurt him so badly all those years ago. He licked his lips and let the words come slowly.
‘Will, there is more. I need to—’
He was interrupted by the loud sound of a ringtone. Willow looked as startled as he did. She jumped back as if stung and dug in her pocket for her phone. Her expression changed as she soon as she saw the name on the screen. She frowned a little as if embarrassed.
‘It’s Jake. Is it OK if I take this, it might be important?’ she asked shyly. ‘Maybe we can catch up tomorrow?’
Lucas shrugged. It wasn’t like he was going to say anything that major. He was only planning to unfurl all his deepest feelings to her. He should have known it would be a mistake.
