Willow decided to go for a walk on her own. Everything seemed to be happening so fast; she felt almost fizzy with the excitement of it all, like she was on the fringes of a dream. She had received email confirmation that her orders would be coming through in the next few days. In theory, she would be able to get started with her matcha business soon after that.
As she walked, she mused over names that she could use. She knew they needed to be catchy and original, but currently her imagination was pretty dry. She bit her lip and tried not to worry, convincing herself that an idea would strike her as soon as she needed it. She knew Toby was also thinking of ideas for her, and at the moment, he was more on point with things like that.
It was so crazy being back in Honey Springs. Everything was so familiar, but Willow felt like she was a stranger in her own town. Almost like she had been planted in a movie that she had watched over and over again, so she knew everything about it but didn’t actually belong in it.
Perhaps she had always felt this way, even when she was younger? When her mom had left, she had felt lostfor so long, like her mom had taken a part of her too. For a while she had been left wondering, even dreaming, that Erin would come back for her – that she was simply setting up a new life for both of them in Boston and when things were ready, she would come back for her daughter. It never really turned out that way. Erin stayed in touch via emails and short phone calls. She told Willow that she still loved her, that she would be back soon, that she needed to ‘get her head straight’. Meanwhile, Willow kept drifting along in Honey Springs never really sure how long she would be there for, living under the loving care of her grandma and spending most of her time playing outside with Lucas, who didn’t care if she cried sometimes, or got angry at the whole situation. At the time, Willow wondered how he would ever really understand. Lucas had a mother who loved him. Mel would never leave. His father had died when he was a baby, in some kind of mountain rescue accident, so he died a hero. Willow didn’t even know her father; her mother refused to tell her about him.
Willow sometimes just hated the unfairness of it all.
When she got closer to Jake, she was a little older and perhaps even more bitter. She was thirteen and by then Erin had met her man Dale and had long settled down for good. Dale had two kids of his own though, and although they offered Willow a place to stay, she didn’t feel it was right to go. She didn’t belong there. Jake totally got it. His dad was a deadbeat drunk, and Jake could barely speak his name without hissing. He loved his mom Maria, but she had moved to Westpine Ridge when Jake was little, taking him with her. Though Willow saw him at the local high school they both attended in Westpine, Jake only came back to Honey Springs on occasion to stay with his dad. Maybe that waswhy Jake had never really had good memories of Honey Springs. Jake had bigger plans in mind. He was getting out of the town as soon as they graduated from school and soon his plans included Willow. She was excited to be part of something, to know that she could escape too. Jake hated the Ridge and the Springs; they represented the smalltown life that he wanted to leave behind.
And it had been the right answer at the time. It had been all Willow wanted. Jake was her closest person by then. They had fallen in love. She no longer spoke to Lucas; he had changed and like so many other people in her life, he ended up disappointing her and not showing much interest in her. She guessed he was the kind of boy who didn’t like it when his friend dated someone else. She had never understood this, how their bond had broken so easily. How could something so good be that fragile?
She paused now and took a deep, shaky breath – realizing where her feet had automatically taken her whilst she was deep in thought.
Her grandma’s house. Martha’s house.
Her hands gripped the white picket fence. She hadn’t planned to come back here so soon and just being close was making it hard to breathe, like all the air had been squeezed out of her lungs.
Willow hated running away from her grandma. Martha had looked after Willow and cared for her, and ultimately, Willow had rejected that love and chosen to move miles away. How many times had she visited Martha? Or even phoned her? Jake had always reassured her and told her that they had a new life now – but that didn’t make it right. Willow had wrongly assumed that her grandma would always be there for her and now she wasn’t.
She would never see her again.
She took a sharp intake of breath, trying to fight back the tears that were now threatening to come.
‘Are you OK?’
Willow looked up quickly. She was surprised to find Lucas standing there, hands buried in his pockets and a frown so deep it looked like a permanent scar across his face. She hesitated for a moment, realizing that she was actually a little embarrassed to see him when she felt so vulnerable and exposed.
‘I’m good. I was just thinking some stuff through, that’s all.’
‘I hope it wasn’t anything too heavy,’ he replied. ‘You look kind of sad.’
She shifted on the spot, remembering their last meeting. It hadn’t exactly gone well. She wasn’t sure she was ready to open up now.
‘Why are you here anyway?’ she asked, risking a weak smile. ‘You’re not following me, are you?’
He looked a little awkward, his gaze drifting down towards her feet. ‘Actually, I was here earlier. I came for a walk and I lost something …’
‘Oh.’ Willow looked around her, glad for the distraction. She noticed something glinting in the grass by the picket fence and bent down to reach it. ‘Is it this?’
As soon as she picked it up, she recognized it. Lucas’s bracelet. She remembered when Mel had given this to him for his thirteenth birthday and he had been so happy. He hadn’t taken it off since that day.
‘I’m so relieved,’ Lucas said, rushing towards her. He crouched down next to her and their hands briefly touched as she passed him the bracelet. She could feel the slightcoarseness of his fingers. Warmth rushed through her body, making her feel momentarily giddy.
‘The catch has gotten loose,’ he continued, as he busied himself putting it back on. His dark hair was falling into his face, and it was all Willow could do not to reach forward and ease it gently away. She nibbled gently on the side of her cheek, trying to distract herself.
Why was she thinking like this?
‘You always do that,’ Lucas said, grinning as he stood up.
Willow pulled herself up too, feeling a little weird. ‘What do you mean?’
‘You chew your cheek when you’re nervous or thinking over stuff …’ He shrugged. ‘I used to think it was kind of cute.’
‘You did?’ Willow knew her cheeks were glowing. She had to quickly look away. Was this even the same guy who had been so moody towards her earlier?
‘Look, I’m sorry about how I was,’ Lucas said as if reading her mind. ‘I’m not sleeping too great at the moment and I guess this isn’t a good time for me right now.’
