‘I’m sorry,’ he said immediately. ‘I shouldn’t have stormed out like that. It was just a lot to take.’
‘I know. I’m sorry.’ She took a breath. ‘But if I’m honest, Jake, I’ve been feeling unhappy for a while. Not with us –but with being here. It was great at first, but now I just feel worn.’
‘You haven’t been the same since your grandma died.’
Willow nodded, acknowledging this. It had been easy to bury her feelings at first and act like everything was OK, but the disquiet she felt had simply been growing roots inside her.
‘I think I just need some time back home. It doesn’t have to be forever.’
Jake sighed, rubbing his jaw. ‘And what about us?’
‘I’m not sure. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to.’
‘I can’t go back there. You know that …’
Willow thought of Eric and a cool sensation drifted down her spine. ‘Yes, I know that.’
‘I guess we can try long distance,’ Jake suggested. ‘I mean, I still want to give this a shot.’
Willow grinned and kissed him gently on the lips. ‘I would like that too.’
‘Others make it work, so why not us?’ Jake reasoned. ‘Anyway, this can give me a chance to focus on building my own platform. I can’t leave this life in Seattle behind. I just can’t.’
Willow smiled stiffly. ‘If that’s what you want?’
Jake seemed to be warming to the idea quite quickly now; she noticed that his eyes were brightening at the thought of spending more time online. How ironic it was that she was looking to escape this world, while he was throwing himself into it even further.
‘Have you told Kirk yet?’ he asked.
‘I’m going to tomorrow,’ she replied. She suspected he wouldn’t be too upset – she had been taking her eye off the ball lately, just like he had said.
Jake pulled her into a hug. ‘I still don’t understand why you are doing this, Will, but I love you and I will support you – whatever.’
Willow buried her head into his shoulder, tears pinching her eyes. ‘Thank you.’
A feeling of terror suddenly drifted through her, but it was overtaken by a much greater emotion. One of relief.
As expected, Kirk accepted her resignation with barely a murmur. There was a small leaving party at work, but nothing noteworthy. Willow stood in the office, clutching a warm paper cup half full of cheap-tasting wine and wondering sadly how this represented five years of her career. Her colleagues mumbled their condolences that she was leaving, but Willow knew they weren’t particularly sincere. Apart from Toby, she had barely bothered to get to know anyone here. Jake used to tell her off for it and said that she had to be less focused on work – and more focused on getting to know those around her.
Maybe that’s why she burnt out so quickly. It’s a lonely existence when you block everyone else out.
Toby sidled up next to her. He was clutching his wine, but Willow noticed that he pulled a face every time he took a sip. Kirk definitely hadn’t splashed out here.
‘I got you a little something,’ he said quietly, slipping a badly wrapped present into her hand.
‘Oh, Toby you shouldn’t have!’
Toby looked sheepishly at his feet. ‘I don’t think I would be where I am today without your guidance. It’s only a small thing. I didn’t really know what to get you.’
Willow carefully unwrapped the present, tugging at the mounds of tape that Toby had added, until finally sherevealed two small, but delightfully personal gifts. The first was a small wooden sign in the shape of a leaf, with words carved onto it:
Let the matcha do the talking …
The second gift was an A5 notebook, hardback and beautifully green. Willow touched the surface delicately.
‘Toby, these are so thoughtful!’
‘I thought you could hang the sign up in your van, you know, and maybe remember me …’ he stammered ‘… And the notebook could be to write out new recipes or ideas or even document your new life in the mountains.’
