“You didn’t want me to feel nervous,” he repeats.
“Yeah. You know, about flying,” I say, biting my lower lip. I instantly turn my attention to the iPad and the cord that connects it to the large digital screen so I can mirror the video.
“Ah, right. So that’s why you held my hand,” Jayden says after several quiet seconds. I glance at him, and his expression is still puzzled, and perhaps amused.
“Exactly.”
My lips form a tight smile, one that I mean to express my wish to drop this subject.
Jayden, meanwhile, licks his lips then tucks his bottom one under his teeth, seeming to hold a laugh at bay.
“So, like a child. You were holding my hand because you were treating me like a child.” His gaze is waiting for me when I turn to face him again, and his lifted brow clearly expects an answer.
“I mean, no. Not like a child. I was trying to be nice. That’s all. Now, let’s focus.” I turn my back to him again and focusing on the various settings on the digital screen.
I pull up each of Jayden’s clips, loading his first at-bat when I sense his body move in behind me. My eyes close in anticipation, and I hold my breath as he gently tickles the bare skin along my neck.
“It was very nice of you, Colby.” His nose grazes along the curve of my neck, and my lips part with a soft gasp. I really should have closed that door.
“Jay—”
“Colby,” he says, cutting me off. His fingers tickle their way down the length of my arm until they’re flirting with my knuckles, then sliding between my own. I flex my hand on instinct, not out of habit, but due to something entirely out of my control. I open my hand to his because of years of wanting to, because I’ve dreamt about this for half my life.
“You should know. I am not a child,” he says, his words vibrating against my skin, his mouth barely touching me and sending shivers down my spine. My skin beads up everywhere. My heart is racing.
“We should really focus on your first swing,” I say, moving my free hand to the screen. Jayden quickly covers it with his palm, pressing my hand against the screen and splaying my fingers apart as his tongue teases my neck. His lips press a soft kiss into my skin, and a faint cry leaves my lips. The sound shakes me to my core and I quickly step to the side, away from him.
“This is my job, Jayden. This is where I work. Whereyouwork. And they sent me in here to get you ready for Texas.”
I shouldn’t have mentioned it to him. It’s not my place, because Coach Shuster could easily change his mind. And it’s not totally his call. Texas has to want Jayden. They have to need him. But the mere mention of the idea is enough.
“Texas,” Jayden says, his lips quivering with the word, with a completely different emotion than he was acting with a second before.
“Yeah, and I probably wasn’t supposed to tell you. But . . . Jayden, we just can’t. Not only is this my shot, but it’s yours.”
I suck in my lips to quell the tingling that’s rendering them nearly numb. I want to kiss him. He was just kissing me, though not on the mouth. I want to remember his lips, to make my memory from years ago more real, more grown up.
“Okay,” Jayden says, taking his seat. Listening to me. Choosing the game. Just like I do. No matter how fucking hard it is.
TWELVE
JAYDEN
8 years ago
Coach should have put me on the mound.
No, he shouldn’t have.
Maybe, though, if I were on the mound right now, we wouldn’t be looking at bases loaded with only one out and the winning run on second. In the bottom of the ninth. In the state fucking championship.
We’d probably be losing if I were on the mound.
I chuckle to myself, recalling my last attempt at pitching at the beginning of the season. The first four batters went yard off of my fastball, and Coach pulled me and said, “Never again.”
I guess eighty-two isn’t that fast at this level. I can throw harder, I just can’t guarantee a strike when I really chuck it. That’s why I’m out here. That, and because I’m fast. Our last guard. I want this win so badly.
My brother never got an open state championship win. It’s the one thing I can have that will be simply my own. A bragging right. Adriel has all the other accolades sewn up, getting drafted right out of high school and being one of the youngest players tostart with Texas for a full season. Of course, he also owns some of the less appealing titles, like being the only underage player in the Texas system to ever get arrested for driving under the influence.
