“My social circle could be vicious. We weren’t nice, not like here. Rumors got out. My business was crashing. I wasn’t going to let Michael take that from me, too.”
“He didn’t take anything from you, Silas. You’re still amazing.”
He huffed. “Didn’t he? Because I can’t make myself trust anyone, even if they deserve it. It was easier to hook up and move on. This…” He gestured toward me. “I don’t know if I can?—”
“No, wait.” I pressed a quick kiss to his lips before he could call everything off. “Just let me say something first.”
He gave a jerky nod.
“I wanted to know what was holding you back, and now I do. It’s okay, Silas. Nothing has to change between us.”
His forehead furrowed. “But you want more. You said so.”
“I want you,” I corrected. “I’ll take whatever you can give me. I don’t want to walk away. I’ll wait however long you need to be ready.”
“I might never be ready. I don’t know if that’s fair.”
“Screw fair.” I cupped his face in my hands, gazing intohis eyes so he could see I meant what I said. “Whatever time I get with you, I want it. Okay? Even if this is all I ever get.”
He chewed his bottom lip, looking conflicted. I held my breath, willing him to agree. If he decided I wanted too much, that it was too risky, he might walk away and never look back.
“Okay, if you’re sure,” he said finally. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Fuck yes, I’m sure,” I said, relief swamping me as I pushed him down and kissed him thoroughly.
The thought of losing Silas entirely scared the shit out of me. I’d hoard these moments of intimacy like a dragon collecting shiny objects. They might be all I got to keep in the end.
Silas’s stomach rumbled, and he broke the kiss with a laugh. “You know, a sandwich does sound good.”
I grinned. “I knew you were just playing hard to get.”
We got out of bed and pulled on underwear. I led the way to the kitchen and began assembling turkey-and-swiss on wheat bread.
“I know you were kidding about playing hard to get,” Silas said, “but I can’t just flip a switch and be ready for something serious.”
“I know, Sy.” I slid a plate in front of him. “It’s just a sandwich. No strings attached.”
No strings attached for him, anyway. I already had all kinds of strings tying me to Silas Thorne. He was it for me. I already knew in my heart that I’d met the one.
If he cut me loose, it’d be like losing a part of myself.
I just had to believe it would be worth it.
CHAPTER 19
Silas
I watchedDarren fidget a few feet from the arbor where he and Linc would tie the knot in three days. Their schedules wouldn’t line up any closer to the wedding, and the ceremony was pretty simple, so we’d opted for a quick unofficial run-through.
“Is this a good spot?”
I nodded. “Yep. Linc, you’ll enter from the right.”
Linc jogged over to the right, taking his place on the opposite side of the arbor. They were a few dozen feet apart.
Darren tugged at his shirt and shifted his weight. I hoped this man wasn’t getting cold feet. For one thing, I’d have to kick his ass, and he was bigger than me. I wouldn’t come out of that unscathed. For another, he and Linc adored each other, and it might shred the last bit of faith I had in love.
That thought took me by surprise. I’d already given up on love, hadn’t I? Although, I couldn’t deny I’d seen it around me. Linc and Darren’s devotion was longer lived, but I’d neverseen Maverick or Jamie happier. They’d found their perfect matches.
