The trip homehad been quick and painless. Gideon had called ahead—so to speak—and the whole gang was waiting for us on the front lawn. I’d looked around and grinned. Dorothy was correct. There was no place like home.
“Shitty Ritchie has arrived!” the little dude shrieked as we’d materialized en masse. “And I’m available for HUGS and KISSES! Tongue is optional!”
“Dude is whacked,” Candy Vargo muttered with an eye roll. “Can’t take that fucker anywhere.”
Shitty Ritchie was mobbed like a rockstar. Little man was still getting used to having friends. His gob-smacked delight that he was loved was a beautiful sight to see. The tiny freak sobbed uncontrollably as he accepted hug after hug. No one dared to kiss him and I didn’t blame them. The tongue comment was nasty.
Gideon put his arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. “Do we need to have a conversation with Shitty Ritchie about eating people?”
I gagged. “Umm… I don’t think so, but it’s not the worst idea.”
“I’ll have a chat with him,” Alana Catherine said, squeezing herself between us and grabbing each of our hands.
My heart was happy now, and Gideon was over the moon. The wide smile on the Grim Reaper’s face was proof. He loved his daughter. A lot. We very much had that in common.
“You happy to be home?” I asked Alana Catherine, squeezing her hand.
“And then some,” she said with a laugh. “I think I’m going to sleep for three days. I’m exhausted.”
She could sleep for a week. Gideon and I would be by her side the entire time.
“Daisy,” Tim said, pointing at the house. “Are you keeping that?”
“Nope,” I told him. “That thing has to go.”
Tim winked and gave me a thumbs up. “I quite agree, friend.”
The ugly stone and steel house was still standing loud and proud on our property. Houses could be rebuilt. People were not as easily replaced. The people we’d gone after were now safely home. There was no better gift in the Universe.
Charlie and June were among the first to greet us along with my pups, Donna and Karen. The hugs from my human buds and the wet puppy kisses from my dogs were glorious. June beamed and held a huge platter of peanut butter cookies as Charlie bragged about her culinary prowess with great pride. The cookies were gone in less than a minute once Candy Vargo dove in. June’s cookies werethatdang good. I was lucky I got two. June was also packing a few bottles of wine in her purse. Jennifer indulged immediately and with great gusto. It might be the morning here in Georgia, but it was always five o’clock somewhere.
The presence of Chamuel and Hemah was a shocking surprise to all. It was explained quickly and thoroughly in anexpletive-filled rant by the Keeper of Fate. Amelia had quickly handed out earplugs to the foster kids after Candy shouted the wordfuckin’for the tenth time. The little ones popped them right into their ears. I shook my head and winced. They were used to the drill.
Shitty Ritchie then overshared the story about his big dang dong to a crowd that grew more appalled with each new section of the sordid story. After grossing everyone out, he then announced that a funeral for his formerly large wank would be happening later this evening followed by a potluck—hotdogs and sausages not permitted. It was no surprise—except to him—that he was having a difficult time getting anyone to sign up to bring a dish. A funeral for a pecker that was only huge in his mind wasn’t a great draw.
Tim offered to being a casserole. Because… of course, he did.
Gram, Gramps and the rest of my dead guests were next to join the impromptu party on the lawn. They came flying out of the house like a mini tornado of specters. It was macabre and magnificent.
“Well, lookie loo!” Gram squealed as she spotted the new ghosts. “Here comes the welcome wagon.”
Gram and Gramps zipped on over to Chamuel and Hemah to welcome them into the life of the deceased with about thirty other chatty ghosts on their transparent heels. Chamuel was delighted with the new potential friends—especially Gram. Hemah appeared wildly uncomfortable, but Gramps got It chatting. Mr. Jackson was so sweet and kind, he could make even the worst of the worst feel at ease.
Heather stood hand in hand with Missy and grinned at all of us so hard her cheeks had to hurt. Missy tilted her head when she saw me then raised a brow.
“Dude, you’re a Soul Keeper?” she asked.
“Apparently,” I admitted with a grin.
Missy threw her head back and laughed. “Girlfriend! Welcome to the club.”
My BFF since childhood was delighted that I’d joined her club. I couldn’t wait to explain who I’d harbored. She was going to shit a brick. Not literally, like Shitty Ritchie… figuratively.
Rafe, Prue, Abby and Gabe were with Tory, Amelia, Zander and Catriona. All were laughing and all were thrilled with the outcome of the mission. There was a lot of romance going on with certain individuals in that group. I needed to get up to speed on the gossip. Talking about love instead of death was going to be a treat. I was over the death and destruction part and hoped it would stay buried for a good long while. We all deserved a freaking break.
“Are you going to the dong’s funeral later?” Alana Catherine asked Gideon and I with a naughty little smirk.
“Pass,” Gideon said. “I’ve heard enough about Dave the dong to last many lifetimes.”
