It happened so fast I wasn’t even sure that I’d seen it. With a shriek that sounded like a herd of dying animals, Shitty Ritchie lunged at the Higher Power. The Higher Power was delighted with the turn of events. It was going to get exactly what It came for. The Trinity would be forever broken with the demise of Shitty Ritchie.
But according to the poet, Robert Burns,the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.The Higher Power’s plans had just backfired. Before any of us could dive in and save Shitty Ritchie from his own fury, he opened his mouth wide. Wider than I’d ever seen a mouth open. So wide, I thought his jaw hadcome unhinged. It was open so wide I couldn’t make out the rest of his tiny body. It was all mouth and razor-sharp teeth.
A shrill scream left Shitty Ritchie’s enormous mouth as he grabbed the ethereal-looking Higher Power and ate It. Whole.
To say I was shocked was an understatement. The pure physics of what Shitty Ritchie did made no sense, but I’d seen it with my own eyes.
My gaze shot to Gideon’s. He was as blown away as I was, maybe more. Candy Vargo swallowed her toothpick and coughed it back up.
“What the actual FUCK?” Candy choked out.
Shitty Ritchie was back. He was no longer just a huge freaking mouth. “Shitty Ritchie ate the Higher Power! I am the WINNER!”
“Welp,” Jennifer said, shaking her head and wincing. “That’s one way to get it done.”
No one else knew what to say. There really wasn’t a lot to add.
“Are we done?” I finally asked. “Is it over?”
“Hell, if I know,” Gideon said, obviously not quite able to grasp what we’d just witnessed. I felt the same. Somewhere in this mess, there was a cannibal joke, but I wasnotgoing to go there.
Just when we thought it couldn’t get much worse, somehow it did. The Universe was a bitch. Another being arrived in a blast of dull rainbow glitter. The magic was similar in color to the Higher Power’s and the Trinity’s, but it lacked something. We all took a wary step back as another androgynous person crashed our party. It wasn’t the Higher Power, but I wasn’t sure what it was.
“Wonderful!” the thing bellowed. “I am finally free! Killing the wicked bitch is the greatest gift you could give me! Thankyou so very much.” The being bowed in thanks, then looked around in dismay and disgust at the surroundings.
“Who are you?” Alana Catherine asked. “And why are you here?”
“Oh my,” the being said with a laugh that sounded like tinkling bells. “I’m the other part.”
“Of what?” Shitty Ritchie asked, eyeing the creature with distrust.
“Another part of the Higher Power, sillies! There was always meant to be more than one.” The smile on the being turned into a vicious frown. “That bitch caged me billions of years ago, but now that Its gone I’m free to rule the Immortal Universe.”
I was sure that a true Higher Power couldn’t be caged…
“Not so fast,” Candy Vargo said, squinting at the person. “Can you prove what you say?”
The creature didn’t answer, just smiled.
The conversation with Jennifer came roaring back to the front of my brain.
“I think I see something,” Jennifer said cautiously.
I leaned forward. Seeing for Jennifer was very different than it was for the rest of us.
“Talk to me,” I said, feeling trepidation.
Her brow creased in thought. “It’s not clear like Heather’s G-string, or Candy Vargo wanting a ferret farm. It’s vague. Kinda fuzzy.”
“Okay,” I said. “Tell me what you can make out.”
She nodded slowly then spoke. “It’s a person. Can’t rightly tell if it’s a male or a female. It’s strong and angry. It wants revenge.”
“It sounds like the Higher Power,” I pointed out.
“I thought so too, but it’s not,” she said with conviction. “It might be worse.”
“Worse than the Higher Power? What in the hell could be worse than the present Higher Power?”
