“So where do you want to start?” I ask James, whose breathing is even now. “That’s the only real money I’ve ever had, James. My dad’s mother might have been an asshole who wanted nothing to do with us, but at least she had an attack of conscience on her deathbed and left her family something in her will. We were meant to use it to finally have a family of our own.”
He sighs again. “Please, just before I say anything, I want you to know this has all happened because I love you.”
A swell of nausea rises in me and I want to shake him. I take a moment, steady my breaths, and I’m calm enough.
“Do you understand why I might find that hard to believe?”
He nods, shoulders so slumped it’s like Atlas’s celestial sphere is on his back, sky made stone. “I understand, but it’s true. And when I explain, I hope you’ll see that.” He reaches for my hand, and I snatch it away.
“Talk.”
Raucous cheers erupt from what I assume is the living room. Theycome to a crescendo with rhythmic thumping undercutting the yells, beating through the house. So someone’s just lost a round of rage cage, then. Spectacularly, it sounds like.
“Should I tell them to pack it in?” James asks.
I eye the snot bubble primed to burst from his nostril and find myself physically repulsed by James for the first time since we’ve been together. “Leave them to it. Just explain yourself.”
“Okay, okay. Look…the truth is, Will found something out. He found something out, and I had to pay him whatever it took to stop him from destroying everything we have.”
The blackmail bombshell sits between us like a heavy weight. It’s a lot, and I’m not sure what to make of it. For a split second, I think about Will’s warning that day at their parents’ place. I speedily dispatch the thought as inherently irrational. But then, what else?
“Why would your own brother blackmail you?”
He shrugs. “I know you and Claire grew up close. But it’s never been like that between me and Will.”
The thought of Claire almost winds me. The force of feeling will keel me over if I linger on it for too long, so I push it aside.
What James is saying is true, and I feel momentarily guilty for the judgment, but there’s still so much pain and anger. Still so many unanswered questions.
“So was it something to do with the business, then? With you pushing Will to let you buy him out?”
James flinches. “No, it’s not that.”
My disgust is thick on my face and thick in my throat. “An affair. Is that it? Will finds out you’re cheating on me, and you use the only real money I’ve ever had to keep him quiet.”
“Jesus, Natalie. I’ve not—”
A knock at the door. Neither of us has even heard this personcoming. James flashes me an alarmed look. I quickly slip out of my cocktail dress.
“What—”
“Just scoot over so you’re out of the door’s sight line,” I tell him. He does as he’s told. Nobody needs to see his puffy face and pink cheeks.
“James? Nat? You in there?”
My fingers root into my braids and jostle them. It’s impossible to make them look truly disheveled on such short notice, but a gentle tousling should do the job. I pull the door open a crack, shielding most of my body with it. Waiting outside is a guy in chinos whom I recognize from the sales department of East London Chill. The moment his eyes take me in, he goes his own shade of florid pink.
“Oh! Oh, uh…Nat. Sorry, so sorry.” He’s already turning to leave, eyes awkwardly looking anywhere but at me. He can hardly see anything, but it’s clear from where he’s standing that I’m almost naked, if not totally.
“It’s okay. What is it?”
He risks a glance, then looks away, casting his eyes up to the ceiling. “I, uh…We were just wondering if you have kitchen roll stashed away somewhere?”
“Yeah, there should be some near where Ama found the Ping-Pong balls, under the sink. They’re tucked around the side on the right.”
He nods, chin leaping up and down in rapid succession. He looks like one of those bobblehead toys you stick on a car dashboard. In ordinary times, I might have found his discomfort mildly amusing, but all the humor has bled out of me. “Of course, of course,” the man says, already making his exit.
“Is everything okay?” I call out after him.
