She sucked on her bottom lip, fussed with her ponytail. “I think we all start out dreaming of love and marriage. I certainly did when Devin singled me out. I was twenty and guess I was looking for stability. Gran was living with us then, but money was tight, and Rose called a lot for advice. In other words, I was still responsible for my family. I needed someone to lift the burdens off my shoulders, and I was a late bloomer with nobodyto give me good advice.” She paused and shook her head. “My parents were and still are really messed up.”
Blake could identify. “I hear that. My mother was a basket case for years. If it hadn’t been for Grandpop and Grandmom, I don’t know where I’d be.”
“Thanks to the total lack of role models, I fell for the first guy who paid attention to me. Couldn’t have been a worse choice. Looking back, I realize how lucky I was when he walked away. I can’t imagine the nightmare my life would’ve been if we’d stayed together.”
“I’m pretty sure that if Sammi and I had gotten married, we’d be divorced,” Blake said.
“What’s she doing now?”
“Last I heard, she’s married with a couple of kids. I say good for her. You and I are older and wiser than we used to be. You understand me, and most of the time we get along great, even if we don’t know each other well enough to think about a real relationship.” As true as his words were, he felt as if he’d known her for years. “I like you, though, and I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual.”
He expected her to at least nod. When she didn’t, he nudged her. “You like me, too, right?” he asked with a long, level look that ended when she glanced down.
“I guess so.”
“Gee, thanks. Word, I won’t kiss you again unless you want me to.”
She finally met his gaze. “And I won’t send mixed messages.”
“Deal. In the meantime, I don’t see why we can’t hang out like we have been.”
A corner of her mouth lifted. “Wouldn’t that shock the grandparents.”
“I picture us prying their jaws off the floor.”
She hadn’t verbally agreed to anything yet, which led him to the next bit of confusion. “There’s something else I wonder about. During lunch this afternoon, you made a comment about steering clear of ‘guys like me.’ Then a few minutes ago you called me smart, kind and caring. Which of those is right?”
“You seriously want me to answer that?”
“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have asked.”
“Fine. Both are true.”
Wondering at that, he scratched his head. “What’s your definition of guys like me?”
Vi checked her watch and stood up. “Your ride should be here any minute now. You’d better get your bike and shoes and the rest of your stuff together.”
Not ten seconds later, his phone beeped. “You’re right—the driver’s two minutes away.” Which meant he wouldn’t find out the rest of what he wanted to know tonight. Might never if she stayed so close-mouthed.
She accompanied him to the garage. There, he toed into his shoes, stowed the clean clothes and waterproof, now air dried jacket into the bike carrier before hooking it to his bike. The driver pulled up. “Talk soon,” he told Vi and wheeled the bike out of the garage.
She stood there a minute before the garage door closed, leaving him more confused than ever.
For the restof the weekend, Vi stayed home and kept to herself. Rose phoned that the visit with Gran had been so-so due to Gran’s melancholy and refusal to talk much. She simply didn’t feel like it. So sad.
Her grandma wasn’t the only one who needed solitude. Vi thought a lot about the previous day. Talking more with Blake last night had been both bad and good. Bad because she’d told him details about both herself and Devin she rarely spoke about. Good because she understood that he didn’t consider himself capable of the kind of relationship she hoped to find someday.
It was a relief to know how he felt and would keep her from wasting her time wanting what he couldn’t give. Even so, deep down and like it or not, she’d started to want that anyway.
She refused to let her feelings for him grow any deeper. After beating herself up for talking too much and for wanting what he couldn’t give, she decided not to waste any more time thinking about him.
Foremost on her mind right now was work and how to make the best of a difficult situation. Chaos still reigned at the company. People continued to work long hours and grumble, and she worried that some might resign. She was almost there, too, battling with herself to suck it up, then thinking about working elsewhere.
Yet she loved working there, or had, and the low morale at the company worried her. On Wednesday a full week and a half since the upheaval, she stopped by Todd’s office to talk about it. Having been transferred to a new position as head of operations, he’d moved upstairs to join the other highest-level employees and no longer spent much time on the floor where most of the chaos reigned. He needed to know that everyone was frazzled and quickly burning out, herself included, and that she’d come up with a way to lower the tension level at least temporarily.
Todd seemed every bit as drained. “How are you holding up, Vi?”
“Doing my best. We both know it’s only been a short while since everything changed. The future is an unknown and with a much smaller workforce, it’s a zoo on the front lines. People aredemoralized, and I worry some will quit. If that happened, the company would suffer more than it is now. I certainly don’t want that to happen, and I know customers and clients would agree. I’ve come up with an idea that might help alleviate the pressure.”
