The prospect of having Smith beside her through it all lifted a weight she hadn’t even known was there from her shoulders. She felt nothing but relief knowing he would be there through it all.
“Four,” she said, finally offering her own contribution to the list. His eyes smiled at her as he waited for her to continue. “My father’s going to want a proper wedding. Something stupidly ostentatious.”
The smile spread to his lips and his eyes crinkled at the corners.
“Of course. You’re his only daughter, after all.” He cupped her face, his warm palms slightly rough against her skin. Kenny had always been fascinated by the callouses on his hands. Why would a corporate attorney have the strong, rough hands of a physical laborer? But she’d never asked about it. Had always assumed it wasn’t her business.
A tiny pang of excitement fluttered in her chest as she acknowledged that if they were to marry, she’d learn all these things about him.
“So…what do you think, Kenna? Are we doing this? Will you marry me?”
Kenny stared at him in wide-eyed silence for a moment and he began to look anxious. She dropped her gaze to the floor and to the forgotten bear which had toppled over to its side.
“Why the teddy bear?” she asked, ignoring his proposal for the moment.
“The ring is for you,” he said, voice shaky and hoarse. “The bear is for our baby.”
Her eyes flooded, while her nose and throat burned with the tears she determinedly kept at bay.
Well then.
How was she supposed to say no to that?
Kenny jumped when the strident back-and-forth calls of a pair of hadedas flying overhead jarred her back to the present. She was sitting on the rocking chair, the big teddy bear on the floor in front of her. She imagined she could see a judgmental, disapproving gleam in its beady eyes.
She buried her face in her hands.
Oh God.
She wasn’t sure what to do, where to go, whom to speak to. The panic and desperation tearing up her insides were starting to physically manifest in short, panicked breaths, and she curled a fist against her chest as she recognized the first signs of an impending panic attack. Something she hadn’t experienced since her late teens.
No, please.
She folded her arms tightly around herself and tried to stave off the inevitable. She had to get it together. She had to figure this out.
And fix it.
Chapter
Four
Christmas at Gideonand Beth’s was becoming a family tradition. One that Kenny usually enjoyed, even though it could get somewhat overwhelming at times with so many people crowded into the tiny house.
She’d come alone and sensed her family’s concern, even though they didn’t probe.
Yet.
Beth and Gideon’s closest friends were in attendance and her family would respect Kenny’s privacy until there were only Hawthornes present. Which, quite frankly, made Kenny eager to get out of there before everybody else.
She wasn’t ready to answer their questions. Not when she wasn’t sure of the answers. She hadn’t seen or heard from Smith since he’d walked out a week ago. Her calls went straight to voice mail and her texts were left on read.
She knew where he was, of course. Tina’s personal and business Instagram accounts were full of pictures of her twins being doted on by their uncle Smith. He looked so happy and relaxedin those images. So unlike the strained and tense man he’d become the last few months with Kenny.
A heavy arm dropped around her shoulders and she was pulled against Gideon’s chest for an affectionate hug.
“You look sad, Kenny,” he breathed into her ear, his voice gruff with concern. “What has that fucker done to you?”
“Nothing,” she replied, not even pretending to misunderstand. “He’s just spending this holiday with his family is all. He missed the twins’ first Christmas and wanted to be there for this one. And you all should stop criticizing him. He doesn’t deserve it. He’s a good man.”
