But what if asking wasn’t enough? Not if I couldn’t trust the answers he gave me. I felt sick for even thinking it. We were bonded mates. Of course he was devoted to me. Even if they’d had somethingin the past, it wasn’t my business. For a life as long as he’d lived, it wouldn’t be fair of me to expect him not to have lovers in his past. Unease twisted in my gut. Even as Rue pulled me closer, kissing the side of my neck, I felt something in the bond, something… deceptive. He was trying to distract me, and so help me, I let him get away with it.
I couldsmellthe deception on him, as clear as any sin, and it made me sick. I should confront him, but in my experience, alphas didn’t like to be called on their lies, and I was in no mood to fight.
Unable to mask my emotions, I rolled away from him and pulled the blanket up to my nose. “You know what? I think you’re right. I’m still pretty tired. You go ahead and eat breakfast without me. I’m still full from last night,” I told him, burying my stinging eyes into my pillow.
What had I gotten myself into, mating a man I barely knew?
Chapter 21
Ulysses
“Iamsogladyou called. An afternoon outing with my new friend was exactly what I needed.” Cameron hooked his arm into mine, practically skipping down the sidewalk at my side, all sunshine-and-light to my doom-and-gloom. “I mean, I love my mate—of course I do—but Deimos can be so…” He gestured vaguely, waving his hand around as he tried to come up with the right word.
“Bossy?” I supplied. “Overbearing? Domineering? Suffocating?”
He gave me a strange look. “I was going to say insatiable. Geez, things not going well with that man of yours?”
My cheeks heated, and I hunched down, chin to chest. “Sorry. I guess I’ve just dated more than my share of toxic men. All those red flags make me a little skittish. Absolutely nothing wrong with my mate, though,” I said, forcing a smile.
“What’s he up to today?”
“He said he had to file a bunch of paperwork at the courthouse, and since I had no interest in waiting around at home, I called you.” Inudged his side with my elbow, aiming for a lighter topic. “So tell me more about thisinsatiableman of yours.”
“Oh gods, seriously,” he gushed, fanning his face. “Ever since the doctor gave me the go-ahead to have sex after giving birth to Damon, I swear my mate has been determined to knock me up all over again. My poor ass really needed a day off from all the pounding.”
I snorted a laugh, appreciating how completely open he was. It was a nice change from all the sneaking and spying going on around me lately. “As if you’re not just as voracious,” I teased with an arched eyebrow.
His grin widened mischievously. “Guilty,” he admitted. “I keep telling myself I’m going to behave, and then the second our son’s down for a nap, I somehow find myself riding Deimos’s dick or bent in half over the kitchen table. I can’t seem to stop myself. It’s an illness, I swear.”
“Did you like being pregnant? Enough to do it again, I mean,” I asked, hand drifting subconsciously toward my still-flat abdomen. It was still early, and I hadn’t entirely come to grips with all the ways my life was about to change, but he seemed like a good person to ask.
His eyes shifted to where my hand was sitting on my belly, a soft knowing smile on his lips. “Loved every minute of it. Except the swollen ankles… and the winter coat that I couldn’t zip up… and the random food cravings at all hours of the night.”
“I hear you on that one,” I muttered under my breath, though the chances that he’d had cravings quite like mine were slim. I would kill to crave some good old-fashioned pickles and ice cream, or maybe peanut butter and anchovies.
“Let’s not play games here. We are just going to pretend you already spilled the beans about being pregnant, and we’ll skip over the partwhere I squeal my congratulations and get straight to how excited I’ll be to be pregnant with you.”
I grinned. “Okay, thank you, but that’s assuming you’ll get pregnant too.”
Cameron speared me with a look that saidwho are we kidding?“Trust me, won’t be an issue. I swear, gods have magic sperm or something.” I didn’t doubt that for a second.
He pursed his lips. “So, where does baby want to go for lunch?” he asked, browsing the downtown selection. “There’s a great Tex-Mex food truck that serves spicy barbecue, or maybe that place with Korean noodles? Johnny’s Deli has got amazing deep-dish pizza. Ooh! Burgers!” He pointed at the sign for Burger Bliss Bistro across the street.
I laughed, shaking my head. “Are you sure you aren’t pregnant already?”
“Not yet, but it’s never too soon to start eating for two,” he said with a wink.
“Um, actually, would you mind if we hit up this brunch place I heard about? It’s just down the block.” I tugged him by the elbow around the corner, and he came willingly, chatting the whole while, never once noticing how my body was tensing up.
Anticipation sat coiled in my gut like a snarl of fishing line, impossible to untie, and with every step I took, it only seemed to get worse. I might not have had a single bit of precognition in my magical arsenal, but I could picture exactly how everything was about to unfold, and while there was a certain comfort in knowing the outcome, that didn’t make it any easier to face.
Cameron was still happily chatting when he reached out and pulled the door open, waving me to walk through into the Sizzle & Sip Brunch Lounge. Ruadan had told me this was a favorite of his, thatthey served the best French toast. And under different circumstances, I might have enjoyed a meal here. As it was, I was a little distracted.
Of course, as soon as we stepped through the door, I caught his scent. Chocolate and strawberries, champagne and roses. It called to me over every competing aroma, telling me my mate was near. My soul basked in it, like a cat in a patch of sunshine—unimaginable peace. And yet, as I locked eyes with a surprised Lagamal, sitting across from my mate, I knew I was about to shatter that peace with a sledgehammer.
Setting my shoulders, I clenched my jaw and marched across the restaurant, brushing right past the host who was saying something about our seating options. I kept my head held high, refusing to bow beneath the weight of my emotions, overwhelming as they were.
Lagamal rose from his seat, cautious smile on his face as he reached a hand out for me to shake. “Great to see you again, Ulysses. You’re looking much better than the last time I—”
